Mike DruckerOvjeren akaunt

@MikeDrucker

five-time emmy losing writer for television, video games, and comic books. stand-up comedian. no funeral. mikedruckerisdead @ gmail dot com

New York, NY
Vrijeme pridruživanja: studeni 2008.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    “Dong. Ding dong.” -Jame Bond’s doorbell

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  2. Hi, yes, I’m running elections for the beleaguered Democratic Party. I know there’s been a lot of “suspicion” before, so we want to clear the air by doing things a little different this year. We’re going to make sure everything’s on the level by hiring a company named 🪓SHADOW🔪

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  3. 4. velj

    *sees my candidate doing well in the Iowa caucus* “Today’s caucus shows that the people have spoken-“ *sees numbers for my candidate inexplicably drop* “And what those people are saying is they are being silenced-“ *numbers go back up* “Silenced from saying how happy they are”

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  4. 4. velj

    Folks, I know caucuses are complicated. A lot of room for error. So we’re going to solve it with the most reliable technology known to man: hastily-developed mobile apps

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  5. 4. velj
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  6. 4. velj

    I guess the real winner of the Iowa caucus is the friends we made along the way

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    3. velj

    My friend ’s one-man show at UCB is a hilarious delight! Add’l writing by ! The next show is Thurs. Feb 13 at . You should go! Tickets here!

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  8. 4. velj

    With all due respect, this is completely wrong. The reason the PlayStation won is we ALL want to play depressing games while alone

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  9. 3. velj

    I’m starting to suspect Biden’s “if you don’t like it, don’t vote for me” strategy might not be effective

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    joe rogan is gwyneth paltrow for men?

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  11. 3. velj

    *starts weeping, barely able to say the words, thinking about my family* “A-As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain, B-b-but that’s just perfect for an Amish like me...”

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  12. 3. velj

    You know what, Danny DeVito? You got it.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. sij

    “We should totally hang out one of these days!”

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  14. 2. velj

    That Trump ad was some supremely normal stuff

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    lowkey the best part of the groundhog day ad at the bottom of the screen here

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    me: ah nobody wants to hear this specific esoteric celestial mechanical fact also me: wait, everyone reading this lives on Earth and very few know the planet they're on rotates 366 times per year

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  17. 2. velj

    Avoiding work by reading about mortal kombat ports

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    2. velj
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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    is now playing in front of all North American screenings of Jumanji: The Next Level

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