Sir Michael

@Michael1979

"Stop posting" - my online critics. "Stop wearing jean shorts" - my offline critics.

Waterford, Ireland
Vrijeme pridruživanja: veljača 2009.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    13. sij

    Managed to make a nice profit in the group chat today 💰

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  2. 2. velj

    Will not name names because I don't want to give her the attention she craves but the celebrity who's been tormenting me in the DMs needs to grow up

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. srp 2019.

    If the sun is so hot how come it’s single

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    How does this guy not have a million followers already?

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. pro 2015.

    [I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]

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  6. 1. velj

    MICHAEL'S TECH TIPS Let's say you want to take a photograph but you don't have a digital camera. No problem, you can use your smartphone! Simply open the "Maps" app on your phone and search for “camera shop”. You'll get directions to a nearby shop, where you can buy a camera 👍

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  7. 31. sij

    Sad to announce that nobody has won my prestigious monthly award for January because my followers were very mean to me and SHAMEFULLY ANTAGONISED me constantly throughout the month. The good news, though, is that it's up for grabs again in February. Good luck, everyone! 👍

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  8. 30. sij

    Here are the main facts that you will need to know about children

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandmother

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  10. 28. sij

    Helpful tip on how to survive a shark attack: Instead of engaging in a brutal underwater fight to the death, challenge the shark to a game of Scrabble on land instead (sharks have very limited vocabularies so this should give you the advantage) 👍

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  11. 27. sij

    A lady suddenly joins The Boyz' group chat. This is the ULTIMATE test of character

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Type out “My best quality is” and then let predictive text finish it! I’ll start “My best quality is I am a worthy vessel for the demon lord Paimon who will bring about a new age of darkness. All will suffer his wrath and despair” haha so random

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  13. 25. sij

    Everyone's been asking me whether or not we should remove the strings from tennis rackets. Have given it some thought and here's my take

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. srp 2018.

    Michael The Magician at your service

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  15. 23. sij

    MICHAEL'S TECH TIPS Let's say you want to close down a window on your computer. There should be a button for that, right? Well, there is! It's called the on/off switch. Simply switch off your computer for a few hours and when you switch it back on, the window will be closed 👍

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  16. 22. sij
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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Sleeping with a knife under my pillow so if a murderer breaks into my house to kill me, I’ll just stab myself so they think another murderer beat them to it

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  18. 21. sij

    Sad to see wayward teens outside the village shop today asking passers-by to buy vodka for them :( Felt better though when I overheard local youths in the park talking about raising cash for Molly (must be an ill friend of theirs). I proudly donated €20. Get well soon, Molly!👍

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij
    Tweet je nedostupan.
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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. pro 2019.

    When my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. velj 2019.

    Been working on some new inventions. Will consider SERIOUS investment offers only

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