Am I the only person who worries about calculating how much contribution or worth they bring to an interaction, in order to justify the opportunity cost incurred by other people spending time with me? maybe? okay
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IDK why I focus so much on having to justify myself when I don't apply that same standard to other people—it feels like the world and everyone in it is proceeding fine without me, and my being there is some forceful intervention in an otherwise natural process.
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this kind of feeling (maybe worthlessness?) can go real deep, usually there's childhood stuff there IME. this book might be relevant:https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional/dp/161448242X …
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That's a really interesting connection I haven't considered, and it resonates a ton with what's been going on in my life recently and yeah it's a hard headspace to break out of, but you can do it!
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