idk if this will help you to hear but worrying about this makes your interactions worse you can trust other people to decide whether they want to spend time with you!
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Precisely. The heaviest burden I carried with myself for years was the belief that I had to justify my existence to others. Your existence is worth more than what you do for other people, and when I have a sec I'll clip the She-Ra scene that line is from because it's real shit
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You're not the only one, it's pretty common. I think sometimes it's a reaction to actually being excluded, tolerated or unwanted at points in life. This can ferment into "wanting to keep justifications close just in case" That can last a lot longer then they're actually needed
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Sometimes it's tracable to a capitalist fostered idea of individualism. That weird game of status, achievement, conversational space. It can make people feel inadequate or worthless. It's a commoditized, unhealthy approach to human relationships
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ah so the trick here is that you have absolutely no responsibility to be valuable or useful to others; such a thing makes no logical sense. people associate with you because they want what you provide, not the other way around
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furthermore, you can never provide anything except what you are right now. on a moment to moment basis, the only thing you can do is restrict yourself, to provide even less to others than you already do. you cannot provide any more than you are, so stick with that.
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That's the "maybe they're not that into me and are just humoring me" impulse, right? I'd been assuming that was pretty much universal (excepting narcissists)
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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