Hot take: Attention and interaction on social media platforms are a winners-take-all game, making us measure the success of conversations by how asymmetric they are.
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Was thinking about parasocial relationships—one-sided relationships that an audience has to a celebrity figure that feel reciprocal and intimate without direct interaction. The structure of social media tries to replicate this dynamic in even everyday interactions.
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Even when talking to average or anon folks, you reply to a big thread on Reddit or someone’s FB post and rarely receive comments back. Whoever gets the most likes/retweets wins the lion’s share of attention, which they typically can’t reciprocate.
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When I used message boards, I could usually expect replies would lead to conversations even if they were brief. Conversations were linear, not pyramid-shaped. The current system is more like a Greek chorus that mumbles in the background and frames the main actors.
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I know that social media is not about reciprocal interaction, but there’s still an instinctive moment of pain when I can’t connect. Like hearing someone talk about a show you like and wanting to chat, asking who their fave character is—and having them stare right through you.
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One solution is to get used to the “sending a message in a bottle” dynamic and not expect replies, but that feels like it defeats the point. Maybe a return back to good old ProBoards and phpBB? No wonder people write to provoke and piss people off: it guarantees response.
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