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Meredith Salenger
@MeredthSalenger
Meredith Salenger’s Tweets
Me: I love you so much. Have the best time at camp. Write to me so I know you are alive.
Alice:
I’m sorry. But uh uh! No. Don’t equate standing up for your family to punching someone over a joke! That is assault. Sorry. I love you and your acting. But NOT okay. And GASLITE everyone that knows that was wrong!!! That was not okay! And your speech… I’m sorry. No
Hey men who got women pregnant who had abortions, please tell us how having that baby would have affected your life? And how big that number is. And how much you saved in child support? Or what job you still could do or school u got to go to? Just help us out here. SO many of u.
Real quick: How are Republicans like Donald ok with 2% of people dying from coronavirus as if 2% is not a very high number. But when you discuss a 2 cent wealth tax on people making over 50 million they freak out like it’s the worst thing that could ever happened to them.
The legacy #MichelleMcNamara has left for her daughter of determination and finding justice for so many is incredible! I will everyday make make sure her daughter knows how spectacular her mother was, not just for her but for society. #GoldenStateKiller #IllBeGoneInTheDark
Single people. This is actually the perfect time to fall in love. Patton and I did not meet in person for over three months. We did text each other every single day for two hours each night and in the second month I had fallen in love with him before I ever met him in person.
It's official. I'm the luckiest happiest girl in the universe!!!!💖 I love you I love you Alice Oswalt!
Dear & ,
How bout a nice little intimate inauguration ceremony with UR family & Barack Obama in a small garden. Quietly film it. And get to work. We can all celebrate once it is safer.
Signed,
Everyone who voted for U & loves U & wants to keep U safe💙🇺🇸
I was 19. With a terrifying look in his eyes, he pinned me down, grabbed both my wrists with 1 hand & tried to unbutton my pants with another. I kicked him as hard as I could in the crotch and ran out. He didn’t actually rape me so I thought “nothing” happened. #WhyIDidntReport
Now he’s an Emmy & Grammy winner starring in more than one hit TV show at a time & having comedy specials on Netflix that people love. In addition to producing his own shows while being the best father in the world to a beautiful & happy 10 year old. With a wife who adores him💖 t.co/esK5hGQZLD
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This routine is bananas!!! This girl is Amazing!!!! So full of joy and fun and soul and FUN and she loves it and her happiness is infectious!!!! I love this!!!!! I love this girl!!!!!!
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Dear There are about a zillion followers of Q anon sending threatening tweets to me and my husband. Saying “Q sent them” and that our “time is up” and that they will “bring the pain”. I reported them all and you found NO violation!?! #unacceptable
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@MeredthSalenger could you call @nbcsnl and maybe get @pattonoswalt a gig humiliating Barr at the #BarrHearing
Instead of getting your kid a gun to shoot animals, why not get your kid a CAMERA. That way you can enjoy the outdoors together and admire the animal instead of killing it.
Every day I am more and more impressed with .
💙🇺🇸💙
What a poised brilliant compassionate leader.
Last night was the 5 year anniversary of the day I met in person. I never knew love could be so true. Thank you Patton for making me feel so free to be my best self & for loving me & all my quirks. Thank you for Alice. Thank U endlessly. Gratitude beyond measure💖
The best part of today is hearing that is going to be the next Vice President. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
💙🇺🇸💙
The second best part of today is knowing that we are going to get to see a lot more of Maya Rudolph!!!!😜🥰
I make it a point to block trolls immediately. But, I was bored and felt like a little game of "bat the mouse around" - won't happen again.
U wanted crowds to come out for you. U want it to be the biggest crowd there ever was. U wanted everyone to know your name. Well look what: U got your dream come true. U will be forever known as the most despicable president and most horrible man by all. And crowds are out for U.
Wow. This is spot on. t.co/A3KgTc31ob
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Yes... and?
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I am stunned! Noooo!!!! Bob Saget was just at our house a couple months ago! Truly the most kind man. What a heart. He had suffered so much loss. And he was a wonderful friend to so many. Just heartbreaking. Oh my just horrible. 😔🙁 We loved him. 💔
Today is my husband’s birthday. And I can’t stop crying about Kobe and his family. And I want to hold on to this love so tightly. And my parents. And Alice and my friends and I can’t stop crying. I love you Patton. I thank the stars for everyday I get to spend with you.
Today is our 2 year anniversary. I have been married to and Alice for two years. I must’ve done all the good things in life because... boy did I get lucky. These two are my heart. The kindest. Most loving. Most fun. Most snuggly. Most wonderful people I know. 💖
No Joke. They should do that!
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Jill Biden should host Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, and Rosalynn Carter for a fabulous "First Ladies Who Have Manners" luncheon at the White House.
And Vogue should put it on the cover. And send a copy to Melania. twitter.com/kaitlancollins…
What a week! My little one had to go to Urgent Care on Tuesday with a fever over 104.2. She’s been home recovering. No school. & yesterday slipped on a ramp at work & back to Urgent Care - broke his foot and ankle in 3 places! Oy! And our power is out. 🙁😫😔
Can we make sure all future presidential candidates take a civics test, a spelling test, an (EQ) emotional psychological exam, and of course submit their tax returns. Dear Gawd he is the dumbest mofo alive. 😑
This is the loneliest fuxkin photo and the white house posted this!??? Why? Why would you post this? It feels very lonely and sad. My goodness.
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His "wishes" to make sure the staff at the venue and the people who attend his shows don't get sick from other people. Those wishes.
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.@pattonoswalt announced today he was cancelling five shows - four in Florida and one in Utah - where venues wouldn’t comply with his wishes to require proof of vaccination/negative COVID tests before admittance.
thelaughbutton.com/patton-oswalt-
I’m so proud of watching him honor his beautiful and brilliant late wife #MichelleMcNamara promoting her incredible book #IllBeGoneInTheDark at amazing venues like the . It is a testament to his love for her and his belief in her talent. I’m in awe. #beautiful
Don’t be a bitch Megyn.
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Written like a man who’s been in his basement for a year. twitter.com/JoeBiden/statu…
Patton Oswalt and his fans just transformed a Twitter troll's life with a simple but powerful act of kindness. ❤️🇺🇸💙☮️
This is the proper way to say goodbye to your faithful wolf! #YouKnowNothingJonSnow
0:46
No one attacks people for “using” their freedom of speech. People respond solely to what you say and your intent in saying it. If you get criticism it’s because you used your freedom to be vile. It’s your personality that’s repulsive.
Stop using the 1st amendment as a shield.
This morning Patton texted me the photo of Melania in that jacket.
I replied, “that’s totally photoshopped” no way would she be that blatantly insensitive.
I can’t believe I was wrong. I sincerely thought there is NO WAY that’s real. And yet...
Jhc
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Oh my. This is true. We can change it. Please read and feel what you feel.
Dear fuxking gawd this man ruins everything. Literally everything.
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Trump visits the coronavirus swab production line in Maine, without a mask, and the manufacturer says it will now have to throw away the day’s output. usatoday.com/story/news/pol
Look, I don’t wanna be weird because she’s a friend of mine and I love her wife Stephanie... but dear Lord... how hot is !?! I’m sorry. I’m very smitten at the moment. #hotTig🔥
If you claim you want the economy to start again. If you claim you want your children to go back to school. If you want to go back to restaurants. If you want to go shopping again. If you want all the freedoms we had before suck it up for 2 months and wear your goddamn mask.
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CDC director: If everyone wore masks, US would have COVID-19 under control in 4-8 weeks abc7.la/3jjb0Xl
Deep breath.
Think of Joe and Kamala on inauguration night holding their hands up with their spouses and beautiful balloons dropping from the ceiling and great music playing! And a joyous America and world!!!! Obama hugs joe. And we all get back to work. 💙🇺🇸💙#BidenHarris2020
I really want everyone to vote for a better world.
Cuz... I really love her.
#Vote
I love so much I can’t even handle it. Everything about him. His laugh his smile. I just adore him. The only thing I want is to meet him & hang out with him & be best friends with him & Michelle of course & the girls. Basically I want a family vacation with them🥰
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.@BarackObama thinks @StephenAtHome’s imitation of him was ‘terrible.’ 
#LSSC
#LSSC
0:58
I was so moved by the community singing out their windows in Italy because they couldn’t leave their homes. This is almost as inspiring.
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Watching the videos from Italy 
inspired me. Entertainers must offer hope & humor to their neighbors in this time of quarantine.
inspired me. Entertainers must offer hope & humor to their neighbors in this time of quarantine.
0:56
You still have the record for hundreds - don’t be jealous.
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YIKES: Ocasio-Cortez Fumbles Basic Civics TWICE In 1 Statement governorpalin.org/2018/11/19/yik
this is my husband sometimes
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“This is our new prospect. His nickname is ‘Build-a-Bear.’” twitter.com/sutterink/stat…
That feeling when Biden wins. Covid ends. The country gets reunited. And our kids can go back to school. 💙🇺🇸💙
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This is gunna be pretty scary. But also fascinating. Yes, I am going to watch. Yes. It’s complex. Will u watch with me??? Please.
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Sunday, June 28th on @HBO and @hbomax is the premiere of I’LL BE GONE IN THE DARK, the 6-part docuseries about Michelle McNamara’s (@TrueCrimeDiary) obsessive search for The Golden State Killer. Directed by the brilliant @lizgarbus. I hope you tune in.
2:15
And what IF we all “panicked?”
What would we have done!?
Been diligent about washing our hands and stayed 6ft apart and wore masks!???
That’s what the panic would have elicited!
NO.
Trump didn’t want to panic... The STOCK MARKET
#HeDoesntCareAboutYou
#TrumpKnewVoteBlue
0:02
Everyone needs to stop being so jealous over how hot my husband is. twitter.com/villepique/sta
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Yay! I got #vaccinated ! Thank you #science. Thank you for working so hard to get the vaccine out where it needs to be to reach people. Thank you to everyone who is doing their best to sign up to get vaccinated. We can end this pandemic together! Still #WearAMask 🌈💖
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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Simon & Schuster said on Thursday that it would cancel the publication of an upcoming book by Senator Josh Hawley, one of several members of Congress who tried to overturn the results of the presidential election nyti.ms/2LflwSW
Patton Oswalt is a film Aficionado. He’s a film fan. He knows more about film and appreciates the art of filmmaking more than anyone I know. He’s funny. He’s kind. He is beyond intelligent. He is the best choice for an Oscar’s host.
Trump to Senate Republicans, “If I go down, I’m taking you with me... and you KNOW the shit I have on YOU!”
They are all complicit. They are all terrified. They know what they are doing is wrong. They know we know their deal. We all know what’s really up. We all know.
Three years ago today! 💖 The love I have for this family cannot even be measured. Patton and Alice, you are my world. You make the world so much brighter. You filled my heart. My goal in life is to make each of you you’re happiest self and love you forever 🥰💖
To be fair... debates are between two candidates moderated by a neutral to help us determine our civic choice, but it’s not going to be better with a better moderator. Trump is operating outside the bounds of decorum. It will never work.
Most dangerous President of all time. He is inciting and instigating violence. #25thAmendmentNow
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So the President of the United States issues a literal call-to-arms to his supporters and that’s ok?
Literally not one of those things is true.
If you want to debate her merits at least stick to true facts. Not things you are using to scare your white, obtuse, intolerant base.
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Kamala Harris is a radical liberal who would raise taxes, take away guns & health insurance, and explode the size and power of the federal gov’t. She wants to recreate America in the image of what’s happening on the streets of Portland & Seattle. We won’t give her the chance.
Oooh FUN! When you “like” a tweet with the #oscars hashtag, it turns into a ⭐️ not just the usual ❤️
Try it. Like this tweet and see.
Who is taking care of the children??? Can we go down and help? Who is changing their diapers??? Feeding them? Comforting them while they are there? Can we volunteer to help ?? Can I come help?? Are we allowed? Will “they” let us help!?!
Not sure who WILL. But SHOULD. No one knows film better. Have you read Silver Screen Fiend? Patton is a film FAN. He loves it. He reveres it. He is brilliantly funny and he respects actors and filmmakers. It would be an elevated show. 🎬
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With Kevin Hart out, who will host the Oscars now? vntyfr.com/wE10fen
If the Lady G rumors are true... and Graham put his fear of being outed before protecting this country... what are the other GOP traitors being blackmailed for and can they just all admit their personal shames and save our country.
Me doing my best Kristen Wiig Target lady impersonation.
Did you just say “American Jews don’t know what they’re doing or saying”? You anti-Semitic race stoking piece of shit! You have unleashed the worst hatred this country has seen in decades on every demographic. You really are trying to dismantle America and its values! #resign!
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Replying to @realDonaldTrump
....like he’s the King of Israel. They love him like he is the second coming of God...But American Jews don’t know him or like him. They don’t even know what they’re doing or saying anymore. It makes no sense! But that’s OK, if he keeps doing what he’s doing, he’s good for.....
Hey … thank you and for helping spread the word to keep our kids,our country, and our community safe!💖 #VaccinesSaveLives
