Meredith Ireland

@MeredithIreland

YA Writer. . Repped by . Banner art by . Lover of good books & bad puns. THE JASMINE PROJECT (Simon Pulse Fall 2021)

Vrijeme pridruživanja: ožujak 2015.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    19. stu 2019.

    Writers Hotline: how can we help you today? Me: I have a book deal!!! WH: Lol Me: ... no seriously WH: omg, did you announce it on Twitter Me: not yet WH: do it!!!

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  2. Writer: I desperately want to finish my book. More than anything. More than I want coffee, or sleep, or love and affection Person: shouldn’t you be working on it then? Writer, pausing while reorganizing their refrigerator: how dare you

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  3. 2. velj

    Bar owner: hmm these drunk people look bored Chad: let’s give them axes Bar owner: ? Chad: sharp as fuck Viking style and have the drunkos... wait for it.. throw them as hard as they can Bar owner: you’re a visionary Chad How axe throwing came to be, probably

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  4. 1. velj

    Spotted in my first draft: she smiled for the first smile This has major large boulder the size of a small boulder energy

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  5. 31. sij

    Local writer crushed to death while revising Suspects include the words “seem”, “really,” and “just” Anyone with info is encouraged to contact the local authorities

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  6. 31. sij

    Person: just put commas where you'd pause Me: lol my brain NEVER pauses my good dude

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  7. 30. sij

    Lawyer: I know my client is charged with murder in the first, and yeah they totally did it—it was a mess, but in their defense someone said “shouldn’t you be writing” Jury of writers: not guilty

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  8. 29. sij

    Yeah, making your way through a labyrinth and slaying a minotaur is hard, but have you ever tried to make new friends as a grown ass adult

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  9. 29. sij

    If you haven't written a sentence, reread that sentence, paused with the cursor over that sentence, changed it, reread it again, changed it back, later squinted at it, changed it again, only to go back to the original... do you even write, bro?

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  10. 29. sij

    NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN NYC: the August sun beat down on concrete jungle. The air alive with possibility. Shaun breathed it all in ME, ACTUALLY GROWING UP THERE: he breathed in through... his mouth I hope. There’s a garbage strike & a rat just ran by with pizza

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  11. 28. sij

    {\__/} ( ´︶`) / >🎤 okay Inspiration! I have all day {\__/} ( ´︶`) / >🎤 whenever you’re ready I am! {\__/} (._. ) 📖< \ okay I guess not now {\___/} ( -Д-) / >📝> Yeah? Now? It’s 2 fucking AM

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  12. 28. sij

    Parenting 101: OK, your job for small children will include: bodyguard, short order cook, unsexy French maid, Uber driver, Fetch monkey, Arbiter of justice, chief Cuddler, first friend and first teacher Parent: wow, and then I will be a good parent? 101: lol I wasn’t done

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  13. 27. sij

    Support the work you want to see. Tell a friend, put a hold at the library, shout about it to the pigeons on the street, build a trebouche and fling it at unsuspecting neighbors, make a deal with fae to glamour people into buying it. Whatever gets the word out

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  14. 26. sij

    Being a writer is an interesting mix of: 1. EVERYONE SHOULD READ MY BOOK. YOU THERE, WITH THE HAT. TELL A FRIEND, TELL THE WORLD! And 2. Well well well so it’s come down to this? You’re just going to read my book to my face? I thought we were fucking friends

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  15. 24. sij

    My Uber driver joked about abducting me and asked for my number last night. Had to do that fake ‘you’re so funny laugh.’ Thanks. I hate it. How was everyone else’s night?

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. sij

    [ID: american chopper meme of two men shouting at each other. 1. "I'm keeping this paragraph" 2. "you dont need it" 3. "I did a lot of research for it" 4. "it doesn't advance the narrative, no one cares you had 17 tabs open" 5. "I'm going to change the plot to keep it" /end]

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  17. 23. sij
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  18. 22. sij

    Writer: there are too many “knows” and “sees” in this book. What to do?? Brain: revise it to remove the filter and bring the actions and substance closer to the reader Writer, typing: I’ll replace this “knows” with “recognizes”! Brain: Writer: time for a reward snack

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  19. 21. sij

    The 5Ws + H of Revising Who wrote this shit? What is this 'feelings there, tacos?' note? Where is the wine? When did I think being a writer was a good idea? How am I going to fix this? Why didn't I become a masked man under an opera house?

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  20. 20. sij

    Me, buying new razor blades: 8 for $16?!? Yes I know you’ll instantly improve my quality of life but I will use you sparingly like the drops of sacred unicorn tears Me, buying books: 2 for $20?!? Better get an umbrella because I’m about to make it rain in this bookstore

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    It’s official: gives the best gifts ever

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