That's why I don't give much a shit about sob stories of people's hardships being a thing that gives them experience to then blah blah blah. Nah. I want to see their actions. What do they DO. Because usually people who have bootstrappy bullshit have bootstrappy beliefs.
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And their biggest citation ...is themselves. Ignoring all the help they got along the way, the boosts, the needs met. And they'll act like hey...HEY! They made it. Why didn't you? Did you not want it enough?
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Never mind the girl in HS I knew working a full time job...literally to support her family, which I only knew about because she came to school fucking sobbing at having been fired (she sold alcohol to a minor who flirted with her during an ABC bust)
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Why didn't THAT girl I knew...go to college? Oh right. Because her grades dropped because she had a full time job. Also, she couldn't afford to go to college because she had to work full time for her family and siblings. BUT HEY BOOTSTRAPPY MAYBE SHE DIDN'T WANT IT ENOUGH
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But hey maybe her mom would've made enough money to support the family had her job been unionized and she was paid a fair wage. But Bootstrappy don't like unions. Or fair living wages. No no no. How are you going to be BOOTSTRAPPY with that shit. Lazy asses.
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And yes, I attended a PRIVATE high school which cost MONEY. But we had kids there on scholarships, we had kids there who's tuition/books was paid by various groups. Her dad had died, that's how she got the scholarship. And why she had to work a full time job.
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AH but social security survivor benefits I hear you murmur. Her father wasn't a citizen of the United States. He was from Mexico. So despite having paid taxes, she was entitled to... nothing.
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One story. Just one. There's plenty of others I knew. There was a lot of actual poverty, despite it being a Catholic private school. And by actual poverty I mean people struggling to eat and keep a roof.
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And often...all too often....also supporting other family members who need help. Sometimes in other countries. Had more than a few friends who had very little because everything was sent 'home' to family in the Philippines. Or to bring them here. Which hey, American Dream.
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A few generations before that was my fam with Ireland. But no. That ladder disappears awfully fast and while I can at least think 'well they don't know' of rich people who've never been deprived, when people pull it up AFTER them?? That I don't get. But I do know WHY.
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And the WHY is the bootstrappy myth which sez if you pull yourself up, you did it and that's a merit. If you fail to, YOU failed and YOU suck. And who doesn't want to believe they're special and amazing and smart and good and look!! LOOK!!!! /eyeroll Ignoring opportunity and
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help, and...community.... and all too often? More than a little luck along the way. There's no shame in that. None. But we act like there is, and it gives ground to keep pushing people down because they're mired in life's crap. I hate this so much. -fin-
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