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It's one of those nights, or early mornings really, where it's not too great again. I know it's not true, but having had SRS makes me feel like I severed the link between myself and womanhood/being female. It's feeling like an uphill battle again. 1/3
It creates a domino effect for negativity too. I then feel like I'm being ridiculous for having a focus on my physical self and not just "radically accepting" it. Or that it's bad of me to feel bitter that I couldnt just drop out from my GIC and let natural hormones happen. 2/3
I don't know. Feelings. Let me know if you find life's undo button, I gotta go back a few steps. Haha. 3/3
<3 None really, something to think about though. I don't have confidence in my local services and I'm not sure what it could do for me, but maybe my psychotherapist can refer me somewhere close.
I'm so sorry to hear you're having a bad time of things. Have you considered trauma therapy? I was lucky enough to have a counsellor who, tho I didn't know at the time, was a rape/abuse/trauma counsellor. 50 yrs of hidden crap came out over 2 years & helped me understand why ...
... I am the way I am, to accept myself & forgive myself. Best thing that ever happened to me 
You may have tried to severe that link at one time, but remember your womanhood radiates through every cell of your body. It never gave up on you and your womanhood accepts you now, exactly as you are. It is steadfast and unmoving. Constant and inevitable. Simply is and will be.
I used to struggle with not being able to relate to other women. I wasn’t like them but I wasn’t a boy either. I felt alone. I had a brief thought of “well I could transition...” what stopped that thought instantly was realizing had I actually been born male...
...I’d be a completely different person. Me being seen, treated and raised as a girl is connected to who I am as a person today. I understand now that I relate to women a lot. That ultimately set me on the path of self healing and I hope it helps you in some small way too
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