The good thing about meritocracy as it relates to economic growth is that it’s all about merit. Anyone can make it. The tough thing about meritocracy as it relates to friendships is that it’s all about merit. Consistently being evaluated, or “earning” friendship, is exhausting
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You want to be able to fire your colleague for bad performance You want your family & best friends to love you unconditionally, + not fire you The output there is the relationship itself Not to say these are mutually exclusive, but when you confuse the 2 you risk losing both.
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Now that I’ve addressed first two points, let’s address capitalism POV. Some people feel capitalism isn’t meaningful, bc, when producer & consumer are separated, the connection is different. Ppl say sometimes: “I know I’m having an impact, but I want to feel it more directly!"
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Thought experiment, replace “deals” with “community service” “He doesn’t want to get to know me as a person. All he wants to talk about is community service” “Stop launching into volunteer details—ask me about me” Weird, right? You wouldn’t say this.
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Erik Torenberg Retweeted Erik Torenberg
If you don’t believe in capitalism, you’ll believe you’re a “cog in the machine” If you do believe in capitalism, then you’ll think small talk is tiring & also a waste of time You’ll buy that you’re a part of something way bigger than your personal ass.https://twitter.com/eriktorenberg/status/1133154864928681984?s=20 …
Erik Torenberg added,
Erik TorenbergVerified account @eriktorenbergConnection -- that goes back to narrative. The more you believe increasing economic growth increases collective good, the more you believe your job is actually serving other people—the more you’ll find meaning in your work & connection to othersShow this thread1 reply 0 retweets 5 likesShow this thread -
This doesn’t mean that colleagues shouldn’t care about your personal life, or you shouldn’t make friends at work It means we shouldn’t stigmatize transactional relationships We’ve course corrected so much that it’s at the opposite-to be professional is to be square or tone-deaf
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The more you feel OK having some “transactional” I.e “professional” relationships - The more business you’ll be able to do - The more secure you’ll feel doing so - The less drama you’ll have. - The more you’ll be able to contribute to something bigger than yourself
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Erik Torenberg Retweeted Ben Casnocha
Having work friends is great—It adds new levels of depth & trust This tweet isn’t saying to avoid work friends, it’s saying don’t feel pressure to force them Also: Be OK reaching out to people for transactional meetings.https://twitter.com/bencasnocha/status/906198899169230848?s=20 …
Erik Torenberg added,
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I have friends who are colleagues, and vice versa. Just like I don’t need my friendships to engage in my work life, I also don’t feel pressure to turn every work dynamic into a best friendship. While there is richness in fusing, not everything has to be fused.
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Erik Torenberg Retweeted Kanyi Maqubela
In conclusion: Have your own communities AND have some transactional relationships Pair a frictionless/meritocratic business culture w/ a fraternal/authentic community culture Keep your tribal POV out of my markets, + your market POV out of my tribeshttps://twitter.com/km/status/715544279637221376?s=20 …
Erik Torenberg added,
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Have you seen my “cofounders” piece? Goes into these issues... strong agree with all you said! It also suggests the possibility of a third sort of relationship, in an SV context.https://meaningness.com/cofounders-in-relationship …
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Replying to @Meaningness
I just did, and love it. Perfect for a podcast conversation at some point ;-)
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