It’s possible to misunderstand 3 as “social skills”; one of the points of The Cofounders was that 4 and 5 are *also* about social skills, potentially at much more sophisticated levels.
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Replying to @Meaningness @everytstudies and
You don’t have to master social skills to be at 3. The criterion is that you can (and frequently do) subordinate your immediate personal desires to the maintenance of a relationship. You are often willing to go to the restaurant your friends chose instead of the one you’d prefer.
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I guess it doesn't feel like you're doing this if you're not doing it consciously and therefore don't remember it. I was an only child raised by a single mother that didn't get fully accustomed to close relationships until much later ->
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I’m an aspie weirdo, and what you say resonates for me to an extent. It seems to be fairly common for the sorts of people who go on to be outstanding in STEMish stuff.
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Replying to @Meaningness @everytstudies and
The stage model could hold as a statistical generalization while admitting exceptions. I think it probably does. OTOH, it’s hard to sort out how good the evidence for the stage model is, as I said at the end of The Cofounders. I’m not committed to it as a scientific theory.
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Yeah, it's just that it really does seem to assume that one stage requires mastering the former fully. I'm not sure how gracefully it blurs.
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Hmm. Which “it” is this? Stuff I wrote? (In which case I’d want to correct/clarify!) Stuff Kegan wrote? Other people?
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Not sure exactly where I saw it but isn't it a central idea that the subject of state N becomes the object of state N+1? (The self, the relationship, the system etc.) That seems to imply there are necessary rules to the progression.
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That seems only to require basic understanding, not mastery?
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You think? Interesting, I wouldn't have thought that.
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Well… I am not an expert on the literature, but that’s my understanding. I don’t recall reading anything that says mastery is required.
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