My boss—a biologist—told me to buy Oracle. Me: What is Oracle, exactly? Boss: It’s a database. Me: Why do we want it? Boss: We have data. We have to put it in a database. Me: I don’t think so. Boss: Our data is important. Don’t argue, just go buy it. It should cost $10,000. 1/2
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I still have no idea what it is, and a day randomly poking through the manuals proves entire uninformative. Time to go to a bookstore (remember those?) and get Oracle For Idiots. Reading between the lines, I discover it maintains a finite set of tuples. You are joking?
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It takes $10,000, 60 pounds of manuals, and 25 pounds of CD-ROMs to keep track of tuples? It took me another decade to figure out why. (Hint: not because you couldn’t do it in 1/100 as much code.) I never did put any data in it, but my boss was greatly reassured we had it. n/n
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