Jesse McLarenGeverifieerd account

@McJesse

I write JOKES and BITS and LITTLE SKITS AND SUCH for late night television.

Geregistreerd in maart 2009

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  1. Vastgemaakte Tweet

    Wow, this is actually inspiring.

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  2. I literally don’t know how anything works but I feel like spraying water on it isn’t helping.

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  3. Today in This Dystopia We’ve Created For Ourselves™️ -

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  4. heeft geretweet

    Dream Crushed Over Trivial Bullshit Represents Nation Better Than Gold Medal Ever Could

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  5. I know this is extremely niche but it was EATING A HOLE IN MY DRAFTS

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  6. 🎶Tell all the Yankee chaps ya meet About the British gent across the pond. The British bruv you used to snog Who would do anything you fancy🎶

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  7. Literally saw a cloud flex today.

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  8. They always depict the Looney Tunes as sassy and cool. But if you watch any of their stand alone cartoons they're mostly desperate and unmedicated.

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  9. Drew a moment I saw happen in NYC yesterday.

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  10. The “Wonka Curse”? Half the actors who portrayed Willy Wonka have died.

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  11. I would tweet about this “Donald Rumsfeld” guy but that would mean I’m over 30 which simply does not track.

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  12. We make fun of Batman for always letting the Joker escape meanwhile we can’t contain an elderly rapist for more than three years.

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  13. Disney should make a Peter Pan “Smee”quel so I can sue them for stealing the idea from this tweet.

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  14. Walking outside today.

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  15. “*Hotter* than a witch’s tit” makes more sense.

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  17. I accidentally stumbled on a very good TikTok. This is the entire video.

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  18. Tbh they should have just cast Edie.

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  19. Why did they make Tony’s mom look so much like Carmell-ooooh.

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  20. New York I love you but what the hell did you do to your skyline?

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  21. I have to own up about something. Any time I’ve told a little kid “wow!!!” I was straight up lying.

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Het laden lijkt wat langer te duren.

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