Matthew Gellert

@MatthewGellert

Advertising Copywriter. Nervous channeler of the random. I look sketchy because my parents are sticks of charcoal. Never been stabbed. Insta:

The cave of forgotten socks.
Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2012.

Tweetovi

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    20. tra 2016.

    Finally won the game! Now, I can go to sleep. FOREVER! (Or maybe like 5 hours)

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    Question: If every life is a “gift from God” why are we putting some of these innocent gifts in cages?

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    The shooter at my high school was not an illegal immigrant, he was a 19 year old that was able to go out and LEGALLY buy a weapon of mass destruction.

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    The President is presiding over a winning economy - there is no reason to lie about it, yet he is. Began the speech with a lie - His election did NOT end years of economic decay - first 3yrs created less jobs than last 3 under Obama - unemployment fell at a slower rate too

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  5. ABSOLUTE TRASH! has disgraced the Oval Office and now he’s disgracing the Medal of Freedom.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj
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  7. 4. velj

    I used to like Jiminy Cricket. But then along came Tanner.

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    3. velj

    I am thrilled to go to court today. For the first time ever, I may argue that witnesses and documents are unnecessary because the defendants steadfastly claim they are innocent.

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    3. velj

    The president of the United States thinks the Kansas City Chiefs are from Kansas.

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  10. 3. velj

    Everybody making jokes about the not having any ’s but there was a whole commercial showing a dick.

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    Looks like our ads are keeping you up at night. We've got one in particular you should watch today.

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    2. velj
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    2. velj

    Conservationists working around the largest volcano on the Galapagos Islands say they have found 30 hybrid giant tortoises partially descended from two extinct species, including that of the famed Lonesome George.

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    In what world does it make sense to ban abortion, limit contraceptives, and deny students sex education, all while depriving young mothers of the necessary resources to live successful lives? The pro-life movement is nothing but hypocrisy.

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  16. 2. velj

    Joins a nudist colony to avoid doing laundry.

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    1. velj

    Sorry for yelling "crying is for the weak" at your baby

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  18. 1. velj

    Does anybody else have an 11 pound that can make himself weigh 50 pounds?

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    Crazy Joe Davola had the true Joker origin story. - Has a comedy script rejected and blames a comedian - Double life - Already on the verge of insanity - Evil laugh - Heartbreak - Compares himself to the opera clown Pagliacci - Dresses as a clown - Beats up criminals in the park

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Trayvon Martin- didn’t have a gun Alton Sterling- didn’t have a gun Mike Brown- didn’t have a gun Philando Castile-didn’t have a gun Sandra Bland- didn’t have a gun Laquan McDonald- didn’t have a gun

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