Matt.

@MattTheBrand

overthinking | top tweets | off-brand content

tiffany pollard
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2010.
Rođen/a 10. srpnja

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    16. sij

    this is me "shooting my shot" just sitting completely still drinking my sleepytime tea hoping they message me first

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  2. prije 19 sati

    she'll text you back bro she's just learning that shakira choreography

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  3. 2. velj

    excited to announce that for the first year ever my friends and i are having a super bowl party where we all agreed ahead of time that none of us give a shit about the game we just want those little pigs in a blanket

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  4. 1. velj

    NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE NORMALIZE TELLING ME I'M CUTE

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  5. 31. sij

    called my dad and told him there's a spider in my room and i need him to kill it but he said "you're twenty-five" and "you live three hours away" what has gotten into this man

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  6. 30. sij

    ok i'll bite WHAT is a wildebeest

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  7. 30. sij

    cat owners seriously come into work covered in scratches like "he's just playful" no ma'am you're in love with a wildebeest

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  8. 30. sij
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  9. 29. sij

    y'all mind if i | 👀 | \ / ____| |_____ / ✊__/ \_✊ fall in love with the idea of someone

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  10. 29. sij

    this just isn't the life i imagined for myself

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  11. 29. sij

    so there's a dunkin donuts inside a gas station near where i work and sometimes i'll stop for coffee but today the woman at the drivethru recognized my voice. at the dunkin donuts inside a gas station. where i'm apparently a regular.. at a gas station

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  12. 28. sij

    oh you want me to "be vulnerable"? you know who else was vulnerable? the roman empire. look what happened to them

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  13. 28. sij

    nobody: me every three months: i have decided to be more confident

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  14. 28. sij

    me after eating a midnight snack when i specifically told myself not to eat a midnight snack

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  15. 27. sij

    my coworkers trying to have a normal day: me on my 27th cup of coffee before noon: y'all mind if i scream

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  16. 27. sij

    if you're feeling disappointed by the results of the grammys just remember that it's like this every year

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  17. 26. sij

    i'd like to reflect on the fact that this time last year i had just come out to my parents and had 100 twitter followers and five minutes ago i posted a video of myself dancing in a pride shirt to my instagram story

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  18. 26. sij

    plans got cancelled so i'm ordering chicken wings, drinking wine and doing a face mask this is about to be the best night of my life what should i cry about

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  19. 25. sij

    it's 2:30pm on a saturday. i've been ignoring texts just drinking an ungodly amount of coffee in my pjs. life is good

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  20. 24. sij

    i hate small talks i wanna talk about your whereabouts on the night of january 14th 1947 the night of the black dahlia murder i don't wanna know "what's up"

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  21. 23. sij

    if you think that i'm going to MAKE A PHONE CALL after a long day of accomplishing the BARE MINIMUM you are out of your damn mind

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