Matt Wallace

@MattFnWallace

Writer of books, video games, and TV. Debut middle-grade novel BUMP out now! Next MG novel THE SUPERVILLAIN'S GUIDE TO BEING A FAT KID coming 1.25.22! he/him

A Swampy Bog That Time Forgot
matt-wallace.com
Joined July 2008
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  1. Retweeted
    Oct 14

    Psst. Do me a favor. Tell one (1) person you know about The Supervillain's Guide to Being a Fat Kid. It's my new book for kids (8-12 years) coming in January. It's funny, a li'l sad, but ultimately reaffirming. Reality with a backdrop of comic book fantasy. Preorders mean a LOT.

    Growing up, every fat kid character I read about was a joke or a sidekick. That's why I wrote THE SUPERVILLAIN'S GUIDE TO BEING A FAT KID. It's the book I needed then and one I hope kids like me need now. Help me and them by spreading the word! Preorder:
    3 replies 74 retweets 96 likes
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  2. 5 hours ago

    Shoutout to all of you reading this.

    Women under 5’5 whenever there’s danger.
    2 replies 2 retweets 22 likes
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  3. 5 hours ago

    My retirement plan is to join the inevitable class action iPhone lawsuit against Apple over a nation of paralyzed pinkie fingers.

    3 replies 1 retweet 22 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    9 hours ago

    "He ate it."

    2 replies 81 retweets 401 likes
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  5. 6 hours ago

    The fight scene William Goldman breaks down by the second over an entire chapter (titled, unsurprisingly, “18 Seconds”) in HEAT. All of Fonda Lee’s zero-gravity fight scenes in ZEROBOXER.

    0:11
    Question: what's the best fight scene you've ever read in a book?
    1 reply 10 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    7 hours ago
    Replying to

    You merely adopted the derp. I was born in it. Moulded by it.

    1 reply 2 retweets 7 likes
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  7. 7 hours ago

    This book is so very funny and bonkers and touching and you should buy it for you and for all the kids you know. They need it. So do you.

    *blows trumpet* DUST & GRIM is now out in the world! This weird little book full of monstrous funerary rites, creepy forests, a boy who lives in wallpaper, a pair of secret wolves. Hope you all check it out for your kids or yourselves. Or your pets. Pets like books! Probably!
    Show this thread
    2 replies 2 retweets 8 likes
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  8. 12 hours ago

    It's kind of cool to know I will create my first TV series and have my first best-selling book when I'm in my 40's. Neither of those things in the works atm but as I am turning 40 next year, pretty good bet my 40's is when those things will have to happen.

    6 replies 3 retweets 94 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    12 hours ago

    The boys are back in town. Photo taken by me at the Kilham Bear Center where Dr. Ben and his family team do such extraordinary work for the rehabilitation of orphan cubs and how we can better co-exist with Ursus Americanus. Link in my bio.

    18 replies 29 retweets 235 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    13 hours ago

    The problem with watching GBBO as an American is that you know you’re probably rooting for people who voted for Brexit but don’t know enough about the cultural tells to say who

    20 replies 26 retweets 535 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    13 hours ago

    And every time I chop the serrano pepper, I think of ’s hilarious story about rubbing his eyes at the wrong time. Every. Time.

    Today was supposed to be one of Nikki's days, and we meant to food prep for it yesterday. Got all the stuff at the beginning of the weekend. Sunday came and we didn't do it. The reasons may be erotic in nature. It's unimportant to the story.
    Show this thread
    4 replies 4 retweets 20 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Oct 18

    HEY EVERYBODY! and are giving away 10 free advance copies of my epic upcoming middle-grade novel The Supervillain’s Guide to Being a Fat Kid!! Use the link in the quoted tweet below to enter to win yours! And please share this with your followers!

    Giveaway! The Supervillain's Guide to being a Fat Kid by Matt Wallace.
    Dastardly times call for dastardly measures 🦹🏻‍♂️💥 But is there a price to pay for a supervillain's help? 📚 Enter our for a chance to win an ARC of The Supervillain's Guide to Being a Fat Kid by !
    1 reply 29 retweets 14 likes
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  13. 15 hours ago

    Nikki is home today and she made us bacon, egg, and cheese sammiches for breakfast and they were everything (I assure you hot sauce was added immediately after this pic was taken).

    5 replies 1 retweet 41 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Oct 18

    My cousin had a commitment ceremony with his girlfriend this past weekend because if they were to be married she would lose access to Medicaid and they would be unable to afford her insulin. Just sharing in case you forgot about how much of a hellscape our healthcare system is.

    342 replies 35,491 retweets 186,051 likes
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  15. 16 hours ago

    NOTHING BUT BLACKENED TEETH by is out today right now this moment and it is one of my most anticipated books of the year so buy it and read it so we can talk about it immediately do it DO IT NOW

    Welcome to the world, little book.
    Show this thread
    2 replies 8 retweets 32 likes
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  16. Oct 18

    BUT HOW WILL WE KNOW A CHARACTER IN A MOVIE ACTUALLY WORKS BEHIND THAT BAR UNLESS THEY ARE ACTIVELY CUTTING UP LIMES IN THE SCENE

    5 replies 2 retweets 45 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    Oct 18

    Hey look! Paperbacks of THE VANISHED QUEEN! Street date is November 9, 3 weeks from tomorrow! You can preorder at all the usual places. Thanks! (I'll make a fort later.)

    1 reply 12 retweets 29 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Oct 18

    GET IT, BIG LAD!

    0:27
    When you suddenly remember who you are...
    6 replies 11 retweets 90 likes
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  19. Oct 18

    How to go from “I would’ve committed actual crimes to be on this writing staff” to “there isn’t enough money or health insurance in the world” in a single sentence.

    Mel Gibson to Star in ‘John Wick’ Prequel Series ‘The Continental’ at Starz
    5 replies 57 retweets 367 likes
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  20. Oct 18

    It’s already October 18th and not nearly enough of you are talking about watching The People Under the Stairs, aka the greatest horror movie ever made.

    4 replies 2 retweets 16 likes
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  21. Oct 18

    lol what kind of ridiculous name is ‘Batman’ he sounds like the most unimaginative minor league baseball team mascot ever

    quote this with your most unpopular opinion about batman
    1 reply 1 retweet 17 likes
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