Yes: it is indeed all in the presentation. But you and your students are and will remain wildly atypical. Teaching well is too hard.
And obsessed with their work. And conflict-averse. And immensely uneasy that complaining will result in an obligation to do something.
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Some mathematicians do indeed have a sort of "Well, I suffered; so must everyone else" attitude. It's a rationalization for doing nothing.
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I expect they no more know how to fix curricula than I know how to do their mathematics. And yes, some hazing may be involved.
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