If every incel somehow got a girlfriend, the net violence in the world would only go up. Because guys who think like this are violent to their girlfriends. It's not their singleness that's dangerous; it's the way they think about women.
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This is a thing that frustrates me. I’ve read how “incel” was also used and useful in the trans community. I can recall uses of the phrase “friend zone” that did not accuse women (but which were about the idea of self-presentation).
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I think there are many mentally ill or socially challenged people for whom it is useful to acknowledge some basic principles with or about. One is that they need to be attteactive and explicitly ask out people appropriately, which is hard.
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But explicitly asking questions is key to affirmative consent. Also: many people’s awkwardness or status (esp. financial class, trans, etc) can interfere with ability to form relationships. Relevant to not just dudes but disadvantaged PoC, single moms. Celibacy snowballs.
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Yes, trans or gender non-conforming ppl can have trouble finding partners even if they have good social skills, esp in small towns or remote areas, as can physically disabled, mentally ill, autistic, socially awkward or low self-esteem folks, or folks in tough situations. Not…
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everyone who is involuntarily celibate for long periods is misogynist or dangerous to partners, and all deserve to have a supportive community, just preferably not one that encourages hostility, objectification, and violence as the ones using "incel" label now so.
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From what I've read so far they do use the term volcel in their group vocabulary.
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Interesting. Are you reading one of the sites where they gather? Do they apply it to themselves generally or seem to use it to distinguish a subgroup or outside group?
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Unfortunately, when a particular group grabs a label and starts getting press using it to identify them, that label becomes useless to others describing a different group. It's a shame because it's a useful descriptor of the entire group who are involuntarily celibate.
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You're mistaken. The term has been mainstream since Elliott Rodgers was described as being part of the incel community, which largely idolizes him, because they use it to describe themselves. Read Reddit archives or 4chan & you'll see plenty of self-described incels.
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We are, their chosen label: incel. They're the ones who made it so the broader community of people of every gender who are involuntarily celibate can't use the term without being lumped in with these hostile, sometimes violent, misogynist men.
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You're a broken record and a waste of my time. I've known about "incel" as a term to describe this particular group since I read it in the coverage of Rodgers. Sorry you're feeling behind the curve on cultural changes. I'm done responding to your repetitive denial of facts.
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I know that a female started the whole incel online movement, but I don't get how a female could be an incel in the first place. Getting male attention is very easy for even a 3 out of 10 woman. A drunk man would rate a 3 as a 5, and then it would be very easy for her.
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Maybe you could start by going back & reading the conversations from the site & mailing list where the term started, then. It's likely online on one of the archive sites & might help you understand how that could happen, how it's not necessarily as easy for women as you think.
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Wrong. It's never been men only. There's just a 1:99 ratio of women to men because that usually is not a problem women encounter.
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I'm curious if women just don't talk about it especially in a group or forum setting. The forums I've read actually have bans on certain discussions that include women as incel.
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It's hard to say. I've never heard of women openly sharing their inability to find a man. It's more of the "right" man. I didn't know that any of the incel forums banned women though. Most I've seen pre-Reddit b& were reaching out to all.
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The irony in reading the posts/conversations by "incel" men is that they have very stringent standards, that in most cases, exclude women who have been sexually active. If women had the same requirements I'm seeing from these men, women wouldn't have sex either.
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Almost all who commented on ideal woman said thin, white, long hair (blonde or brunette), submissive, virgin, blue eyes (preferably light) .... then there are constant criticisms about most other women in most threads, the "hypergamy" of current women ruins (everything)..
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