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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    27. pro 2019.

    me: I'm quite vocal during sex her: lol that's ok [later in bed] me: *through megaphone* stop animal testing

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij 2018.

    good morning ma'am good afternoon ma'pm

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj 2018.

    Janitor: well, that's my shift over Febitor: ok I'll take it from here

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. tra 2018.

    son: [kicking pile of leaves] yaaaaaay! me: [also kicking pile of leaves] yaaaaaay! wife: my salad!

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. tra 2018.

    teacher: your son was caught smoking pot me: did he say where he got it? teacher: yes, his best friend me: [tearing up] he really said that?

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. pro 2019.

    me: I'm quite vocal during sex her: lol that's ok [later in bed] me: *through megaphone* stop animal testing

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. kol 2017.

    Me: [stuffs sock down trousers before date] Date: Wow your knee is huge

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. lip 2019.

    [repeatedly mashing elevator button] him: you know that doesn't make it come any quicker [starts licking elevator button]

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. lis 2019.

    [before sex] her: it's really short me: just wait til i get an erection [later] her: it's the exact same length me: i know weird right?!

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. velj 2019.

    me: my father went out for cigarettes ten years ago and- sloth dad: *opening door* forgot my wallet

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. pro 2019.

    thousands of mourners stream in and out of the church doors to see the body of the late bruce willis. they pause beside the open coffin only shortly, but just long enough to see his erection. "he really did", someone whispers

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. pro 2019.

    [phone sex with my gf] me: tell me what you're wearing him: this is her husband speaking me: oh right *hushed* dude, tell me what she's wearing

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  13. 19. pro 2019.

    [phone sex with my gf] me: tell me what you're wearing him: this is her husband speaking me: oh right *hushed* dude, tell me what she's wearing

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. pro 2019.

    doctor: umm everything looks like gold... apart from the clitoris midas' wife: yea

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  15. 11. pro 2019.

    doctor: umm everything looks like gold... apart from the clitoris midas' wife: yea

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. pro 2018.

    me: I have abandonment issues therapist: ok, you wanna tell me about that? me: [already driving home]

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. stu 2018.

    me: [putting socks on after sex] her: now you have two pairs on

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  18. 2. pro 2019.

    Bruce Willis movie peen puns go go go ok me first The Dickth Sense

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  19. 2. pro 2019.

    thousands of mourners stream in and out of the church doors to see the body of the late bruce willis. they pause beside the open coffin only shortly, but just long enough to see his erection. "he really did", someone whispers

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