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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    27. pro 2017.

    Damn boy, are you my check engine light? Because I'm going to ignore you until you go away.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    My wife & I tried role play but we kept fighting over who would be Mr. Bean

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  3. 28. sij

    I thought the steak I was cooking was going to turn out tough, but it turns out the only thing that was tough was me on myself.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. sij

    Rise? If I must. But I assure you there will be no shining.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. sij

    If I don’t get a lake of fire view I’m not going.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij

    This season's hottest new trend: being nice to me

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  7. 22. sij

    I got veggies instead of mac n' cheese for lunch so I'm rewarding myself with fries for dinner.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. sij

    The dumb bitch in me recognizes the dumb bitch in you

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. sij

    From my purse I produce graph paper. Maybe it’s not the last thing you’d expect, but it’s still unexpected and that’s all I was going for.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. sij

    What I lack in healthy coping mechanisms I make up for in self-destructive behaviors

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. pro 2019.

    I know I’d hate any obituary written about me and not just because I’m dead.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. pro 2019.

    I’m not passive-aggressive. I’m not passive about anything.

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  13. 26. pro 2019.

    I broke my mop stress cleaning, but I'm fine. Everything is fine.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. pro 2019.

    My favorite thing about the internet is how everyone is always honest

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  15. 18. pro 2019.

    Buy art for the people you love.

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  16. 5. pro 2019.

    🎵 Tis' the season to buy butter 🎵

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. pro 2019.

    I don't *physically* have any STDs, but I'm an android user with a hotmail account, so *spiritually* I have STDs

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Most of being an adult is whispering "fuck this" while doing it anyway

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. stu 2019.

    Stop writing such awful tweets, that's my brand

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. stu 2019.

    Fine, I'll bite. What's shame?

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. stu 2019.

    Well, well, well, if it isn't my inability to shut my stupid mouth

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