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It's antiquated, but it's ingrained & quicker for people than writing out both names. Also if those folks are your parents' ages or older, that's just how they do it. Change takes time. Don't take it personally. I'm sure no one is trying to make you conform to outdated standards.
I'm not mad because I think people want to make me conform—I'm mad at being addressed as if I'm an inanimate limb of my husband. 95% of middle-age/older people I know take five extra seconds to acknowledge my existence as a separate human. I think the other 5% can manage the same
I don't disagree with you. I just think many people are either resistant to change or don't understand what the problem is. Imagine how confused those people would be if they had to address a card to two married women or men.
Yes, change can be hard, but we live in a society that progresses, and respectful people figure out how to deal. It's really not hard or confusing to write two full names separated by "and." If my 92-year-old grandma managed it, I'm not going to let 60-year-olds off the hook.
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