Socially maladjusted young men get sucked in by hucksters who leverage the cognitive dissonance produced by the disparity between modern depictions of sexuality and the realities of a sexual relationship. They then get channeled into the alt-right and radicalized.
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So called Incel (involuntary celibate) groups encourage the sense of entitlement young, usually middle class, mostly white cis men are taught. They believe they have be robbed of their right to sexual conquest. They could be helped to learn functional relationship skills.
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White supremacist groups are exploiting this issue to recruit. We need a serious drive to intercept these young men and steer them away from this culture. It's not a small thing, and "suck it up" as a response drives more recruits into their hands. It's very serious.
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The body count from these terrorist actions is growing, and telling young men to figure it out by themselves isn't slowing the growth of this movement. I would love to hear from other men about how they think we should address this. We need to build a culture of healthy men.
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Saying there is no such thing as healthy masculinity, or that men can't learn better behavior, empowers incel recruiters. If there is no healthy masculinity to steer men towards then what? Let half the human population fall into fascist thinking and action? That's defeatist.
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The fact is that men can learn better modes of thinking, healthy relationship building skills, and ways to deal with their frustration and anger. I was a pretty terrible teenager. Over the years I have learned better relationship dynamics and coping skills. This isn't magic.
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If you aren't interested in helping to build a better manhood, you can certainly help but not parroting the trope that men are inherently violent and selfish. That's exactly what incel boards are telling these men, and when all sides confirm this is becomes their truth.
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Men are taught from birth a series of horrible behaviors both directly and indirectly. It's found in literature, film, games, and especially found in mainstream pornography. None of these mediums is inherently toxic, but the message they're delivering is, and it takes root.
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We need to start building that healthy ideal of manhood in media. We must lift up examples of positive masculine behavior and incentivize it. We're competing against thousands of years of patriarchy. This toxicity is deeply entrenched and it's going to be hard to dislodge.
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I fully understand that there is a lot of anger, and much of it is reactionary. While yelling about the inherent awfulness of cis men might be cathartic, it only serves to defeat efforts to make change. Lift up examples of positive masculine traits. Give men a direction.
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Telling men how not to act is only half of the job. There needs to be a clear alternative and a path to achieving it. It starts by agreeing upon what Healthy Masculinity is, and then providing examples to follow and demonstrating the value of this mode of being.
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The most obvious benefit, and probably the most attractive incentive to young men in social isolation, is that being a better man greatly reduces your chances of dying alone and miserable. That's what they really want. Connection, acceptance, and companionship. Very simple.
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If young men find deterrence without a direction to change on the left, and an acceptance of their existing toxic thinking on the right, more will take the path of least resistance. Right now we're largely pushing a lot of young men the wrong way, and people are dying.
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End of conversation
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