MarkVerified account

@MShrayber

It's just the next level of how great I can be.-Farrah Abraham; m.shrayber@gmail.com for tips and friendship.

San Francisco
Joined July 2008
870 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. 23 hours ago

    ...unless that person is toxic as shit and is detrimental to your mental health.

    Never ignore a person who loves you and cares for you.
    2 retweets 16 likes
  2. Jul 4

    Me: What would you do I if I died? Husband: Have a pizza party! M: What? H: With ice cream at the end. M: but.. H: Also party hats.

    2 retweets 28 likes
  3. Jul 2

    Let's hear it for my grandma, who laid down her last sick burn and said "Bye, Felicia" to the world today.

    122 likes
  4. Jul 2

    He was the BEST Tevye the world has ever seen!" -- my father, explaining the significance of Elie Wiesel's death

    14 likes
  5. Jun 30

    Heidi is sick of your bullshit.

    3,608 retweets 6,348 likes
  6. Jun 30

    Husband: I'm sorry I sounded accusatory when I asked why you were hiding a bag of chips under your pillow. Me:

    2 retweets 42 likes
  7. Jun 28

    Investigating + self-loathing in a post- world

    4 retweets 4 likes
  8. Jun 27

    Grandma:I'm dying.I have to tell you something. :Grandma holds up stuffed cow: Grandma:This cow.It is fat like you. Why do you eat so much?

    1 retweet 28 likes
  9. Jun 27

    Chatting with about her hair while dressed as a cat. Just like grad school prepared me to!

    2 retweets 51 likes
  10. Jun 25

    I am beginning to regret the costume I bought to wear while reporting on

    3 retweets 51 likes
  11. Jun 24

    Everyone making fun of this tweet is forgetting that one of the twins in "The Parent Trap" was from London! HELLO!

    This Tweet is unavailable.
    6 retweets 19 likes
  12. Jun 23

    Nothing has helped me budget like the knowledge that my husband gets a notification every time I order $50 of Taco Bell with the credit card

    3 retweets 51 likes
  13. Jun 22

    Me: I need something to show my dying grandma that I love and respect her. Husband: I got you, fam.

    2 retweets 55 likes
  14. Jun 22

    "Warby Parker."

    Is This The Most Painfully Hipsterrific Wedding Announcement You've Ever Read?
    1 retweet 13 likes
  15. Jun 21

    1 retweet 8 likes
  16. Jun 19

    literally went straight to you when I saw this. “That’s an article Mark would write,” I thought.

    Why Kinkshaming Shows Pinkeye Isn't Real
    1 retweet 11 likes
  17. Jun 18

    "I used to love this tote bag, but now...I almost feel nothing." --My husband, having the most important existential crisis of our time.

    46 likes
  18. Jun 17

    I went to grad school with Tiffany! Ask her questions! Ask a Shrink: When "Too Nice" Goes Wrong

    1 retweet 10 likes
  19. Jun 16

    While looking for an old picture for I found these. Thought you'd enjoy. Yes, that's a hat.

    1 retweet 9 likes
  20. Jun 16

    A good way to win an argument is to bring up Hitler as soon as possible so your opponent knows you couldn't give less of a shit about this

    5 retweets 30 likes

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