It's you that said the question of what defines a woman is "not about you" .
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It was your word. Billions have experiences of God. I've never had one. I don't deny the reality & importance of their experience to them. People's gender identity is not their sex. So why would it grant entry to programs, services & sports which are provided based on *sex*
I do not have a gender identity. (I am female. That is my sex. That makes me a woman). How is my lack of gender identity observable?
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You said gender identity is "a biological reality. Observable". Well I say I don't have one, but you say you do. So there ought to be a biologically observable difference between people who have one and people who don't?
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