Sex is not a 'spectrum' though - height, skin pigmentation, strength, outgoingness etc.. are spectrums w continuous degrees of variability. Sex is a discrete binary variable M or F, albeit there are rare anomalous intersex conditions
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Attraction is an evolved response to maximize your reproductive potential. Evolution working with your senses did not have direct access to information about chromosomes etc. You are attracted to traits that indicated reproductive fitness in the evolutionary environment.
People react to lots of things that they don't 'know' in a formal analytical sense - - like understanding language without having to formally know the rules of grammar, and all the exceptions.
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I don't think anyone is disagreeing that biology is messy and categories are not clear cut. Similarly there can be ambiguity in the precise dividing line between 'alive' and 'dead' - but they are still meaningful binaries not a spectrum
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