A sitcom that's nothing but Clark nursing his unrequited crush on Lewis and Sacagawea rolling her eyes at literally everything
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Mike Ross
@MCRossIsNotAPun
This was uncalled for.
(Teachers/parents/readers: tweets not always kid friendly)
mikerosswrites.comJoined November 2011
Mike Ross’s Tweets
eleven years after skipping prom i have now finally been to a dance w/ a man in a tuxedo
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me, an evil vowel, talking to a good vowel in an alphabet full of consonants: we’re not so different, u and i
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the reason they keep making zelda games is i haven't fixed ganondorf yet. i could fix him at any time and then he would stop doing all those rude things but i know how much you all like the games so i haven't fixed him yet. fixed ben affleck first. you're welcome!
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this is the song of the summer btw
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as someone whose entire life purpose is giving people unsolicited song recommendations, this is, for me, roughly analogous to both buffy winning the class protector award AND an already in-too-deep elvis being handed more drugs by his manager
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I am so grateful for @MCRossIsNotAPun because I always wanted someone to grab me by the shoulder, press a mix tape into my hand, and smirk with the knowledge that they just forever altered a life.
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for the record this is what this is from
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eternally grateful for the platform i have been given to educate young minds
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NUGLY is a book about unconditional love, streetsmart porcupines, & the city of boston, mass. it is like if maniac magee had a baby w/ oliver & company & then that baby got its face ripped off. it is available for preorder now & out in stores sep 5. WOW!!
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imagine you are in a bookstore & see this face looking up at you from a shelf. you wouldn't just turn away, would you?? you wouldn't…NOT exchange money to take him home? WOULD YOU??? wow…WOW…… anyway, my 4th book, NUGLY, is out this fall & angelo rinaldi made a perfect cover
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daisy edgar johnson ridley jones and the sixteen deaths of the seven wives of the children of ash of the city of bone of the throne of glass of evelyn hugo hardcastle jones. dds
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scrutinizing my boyfriend for signs of him going gray in exactly the same way a dog scrutinizes a kitchen counter for signs of falling ham
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runs a well-regarded uptown blog
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beyonce asking the question "have you ever had fun like this": flirty, frisky, honestly a fair q
beyonce asking the follow-up "have you ever had fun": much bigger question, a little mean, what are you implying beyonce
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something we need to teach more about the ronald reagan administration is that he did not just allow but tacitly encouraged the proliferation of justin's peanut butter cups in the me community in order to finance the not me community
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Replying to
"One is a washed-up sports columnist, the other is the Mets' last chance at the pennant. Which will win: their careers...or love? Find out, in 'Passed Time,' exclusively on Crackle April 6th."
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unendingly grateful to the dramatists guild for genuinely being the main reason LEWIS LOVES CLARK was able to get finished and revised from 2019-2022 through creative & financial support. even more grateful to whoever dug up the funniest possible headshot of me for this article
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Congrats @maggiehyphenk8 @EratoAKremmyda @MCRossIsNotAPun & @RHONYmusical on the 2023 Rodgers Award!
This year's winning musicals: "Lewis Loves Clark" by Dylan MarcAurele & Mike Ross & "Marie in Tomorrow Land" by Maggie-Kate Coleman & Erato A. Kremmyda.
dramatistsguild.com/thedramatist/r
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few things i love more than updating this 10-year-old thread, especially to say: & I are INCREDIBLY excited & grateful that LEWIS LOVES CLARK has won the 2023 RICHARD RODGERS AWARD! we're gonna pay some people to kiss &/or roll their eyes!!!!
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people these days, in these big liberal cities, they think they've moved past elixirs. they think they only consume "drinks." then they go and get a shamrock shake????? bro that's a CLASSIC elixir. a concoction even. fuze beverages were elixirs too. they're all around us. wake up
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[accidentally splitting an atom by yelling too loud] i love my mom.................so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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me (leaning against desk, shirtsleeves rolled up to show my forearms): so while his name may have been benito…mussolini sure refused to BE NEATO—
[i stop. my ex lover who works at the Bad Tweet Bureau has appeared at the back of the lecture hall]
me: class, uh, class dismissed
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and i tell my wife, "-and after he calls me that, he spits on me!" and my wife says, "what, so now we have an open marriage???"
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Replying to @MCRossIsNotAPun
*immediately after becoming the victim of a hate crime* YEEEEESH *pulling at collar*
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i like to think they are coworkers
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still thinking, days later, of the woman in a yurt at a williamsburg backyard party who kept avowing, unprompted, to the yurt at large, that being gay is "the most perfect form of misogyny," before throwing in that she works in crypto. that said, i am complicit (went in the yurt)
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guy on the street just called me a faggot and spit on my face and i regret to report the IMMEDIATE instinctive first thing i did was make eye contact with a bystander and make a rodney dangerfield face like “how did he guess????”
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still thinking, days later, of the woman in a yurt at a williamsburg backyard party who kept avowing, unprompted, to the yurt at large, that being gay is "the most perfect form of misogyny," before throwing in that she works in crypto. that said, i am complicit (went in the yurt)
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i truly believe that cocaine bear and i would simply arrive at an understanding
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apropos of nothing, it is impossible for me to hear "everybody (backstreet's back)" without physically feeling grabby wet cement under my bare feet as i run madly around the Apple Valley Family Aquatic Center at sunset, fun dip clutched tight in my evil little hands
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this song, which also sounds like the sky breaking open, is explicitly about a second coming! it's in the text!! & what is christ's resurrection of the righteous from the grave if not everybody rocking their body, indeed, "right"???? also: more gogo bells
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from '97-'00 max martin built a towering gothic cathedral of plastic as if trying to touch god. the minor keys, w/ occasional major like absolution; the choirs; the DRAMA—the word "millennium" originally meant "apocalypse," & he hastened one, w/ gogo bells
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"i know what you are," i say to taron egerton in the darkest heart of the woods. "say it," he husks back. "say it out loud." "you're..." i inhale mist. i exhale fog. "you're a weird little guy."
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a year ago this week i had a really good first date with a guy. the next day he left to live in the woods for 5 months. eventually i scribbled "JOHИ WICK DVDS" and "GB ᗺAKE OFF??¿" on a few propped up cardboard boxes & he lumbered back out. thank god. happy valentine's day bryan
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if i could give one piece of advice to writers it would be to have children as your main critical audience
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thoughtful of god to provide me with a backup kelce in case i misplace the first one
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you're in my blood like holy wine
you taste so orange
and so cheap, oh
i
could eat
a case of you
cuz you are annie's mac and cheese
you are annie's mac and cheese
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