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Conversation

"Give me the extra pie" "She says thank you" "Tell her I said no problem" Why am I talking to his wife like this why

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I pull around and they are fucking making out in the window and he has his thumb out like he is aware I will be driving up to this

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Both of these people are in their mid-40s

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They unstick themselves from one another and I hand him my card "sorry about this. I haven't worked at McDonald's in 16 years" he says

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I say "it's fine" to which he says "FINE just stands for FUCKED UP, INSECURE, NEUROTIC, and ERROR-PRONE"

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His wife cackles and says "I knew that when I was 13, get with it, man!" I have been here 37 minutes.

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I am then treated to a story about how they met at a McDonald's that is very short and is really only "we met at McDonald's in 1993"

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So listen I get my card and drive ahead to the next window and THERE IS A WHOLE SEPARATE FUCKING HUMAN AT THAT WINDOW

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He hands me my bag, leans out the window and says "you get to drive away" then promptly shuts the window and sits on a stool, head in hands

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My chicken sandwich was wrong, by the way

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this was the most amazing, bizarre, (beautiful?) thing I've ever read. I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster

2:34 PM · Apr 11, 2016