Malt, the Universal Hooligan.

@MALTSCHLITZMANN

Famously Fat. Inventor of Juggarotica. As seen in Cracked, Vice, Deadspin, Dark Moon Digest, Voicemail Poetry. Let Me Write For YOU! They/them

Vrijeme pridruživanja: veljača 2013.

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    Warren supporter harrasses my caucuser and his wife after alignment while he is filling out his ballot. After several minutes of her getting in his face, I asked her to back off. She demanded to continue pestering him. So I said fine and took this video.

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  3. Growing up poor, rural, and east coast, I assumed Onstad invented 100% of Pat's Unappealing Vegan Cuisine, but at least once a year now I encounter some variant of "macrobiome craveless radiccio tape" which gives me gas just looking at it.

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  4. Wah. Wah nevah, ah, changes. That's John f Kennedy reading that part of the Fallout script I absorbed via cultural osmosis.

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  5. Me and the other palmeres wrecked on madieras wine, telling rude tales of millers en route to a party at Canterbury

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  6. Might fuck around and become the master of my fate and captain of my soul later, hbu?

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  7. Women: we want pants with pockets Fashion: (shrugs, re-releases cargo pants) Women: no. no, this will not do.

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    Bread AND roses? In THIS economy??

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    Soviet diver enters the waters, 1984 Olympic games. Colorized.

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    Me, an asshole shit motherfucker who has never baked in their life: welp, getting married, better put a KitchenAid mixer on the registry, surely this won't dominate my counter, untouched, for a solid decade.

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    5. velj

    Excuse me this is illegal

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    It's a blessing that fourthmeal failed as a zeitgeist because once you break the Meal Triumvirate all fuckin bets are off . Dark Lunch. Negabreakfast. Antidinner Orthodoxy. Reverse Buffets. These are forces no g-d was fit to shackle.

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    5. velj

    hey if you’re cool come to this on Sunday night in Albany

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  14. Me, an asshole shit motherfucker who has never baked in their life: welp, getting married, better put a KitchenAid mixer on the registry, surely this won't dominate my counter, untouched, for a solid decade.

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  15. Soviet diver enters the waters, 1984 Olympic games. Colorized.

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  16. Bread AND roses? In THIS economy??

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  17. Twitter is a Community of Perverts and we're all deLIGHTful

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  18. The police would have you believe what I did to those brunch restaurants constitutes terrorism. I tell you there are only three meals for a reason, and the reason will drive you mad.

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  19. Please note, this DOES NOT APPLY to Hobbits

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  20. It's a blessing that fourthmeal failed as a zeitgeist because once you break the Meal Triumvirate all fuckin bets are off . Dark Lunch. Negabreakfast. Antidinner Orthodoxy. Reverse Buffets. These are forces no g-d was fit to shackle.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Hypnotic arabesque patterns from Albert Racinet’s L’Ornement Polychrome (1869–73), a book showcasing decorative arts from around the world in woodwork, metalwork, architecture, textiles, painting, and pottery. More here:

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