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What if you stopped centering abusers in your justice process? What if instead of monitoring your progress/success by whether they had been sufficiently punished or reformed or become a better person, you focused on how safe, healed, and whole their victims/survivors feel?
I know a lot of RJ/TJ models are intended to start from this point, and it’s really frustrating to see them get coopted in the service of rehabbing an abuser’s reputation. I literally do not give a shit if an abuser is “fixed” at the end of a process. They have to want that.
There’s no amount of boxes you can tick off to certify that an abuser has been transformed into a good person, not least because the category of “good person” is a fiction that elides the messiness of being a human being. Goodness is an ongoing process, not a fixed state.
Years ago a sex educator was accused of sexual harassment and assault, which resulted in this public accountability process where he and his accountability pod kept doing these updates about, I dunno, his process towards reform and good personhood? And it just felt off to me.
You can’t publicly perform “I’m not an abuser anymore!” It’s a long, complicated process that takes work and can only be measured by the actions you take, every day, to be less harmful Furthermore, public accountability processes are easy for manipulative people to manipulate.
If you’re sufficiently motivated, it’s easy to say all the right things and learn nothing. And that’s a really big problem. I’m so uninterested in assessing whether abusers have done “enough” to return the spotlight. TBH, I don’t think abusers *should* return to the spotlight.
If you abuse power, you should lose power. Full stop. Being famous, being celebrated, being in charge — those things are privileges. Lots of people make it through their entire lives without ever getting access to them.
I don’t think it’s a punishment to remove harmful people from power. I think it’s a method of keeping communities safe.
(Also, necessary disclosure that this isn’t “one strike and you’re out!!!!” Obviously we all cause harm at some points in our lives, and there needs to be a way to learn and grow from our mistakes. I’m talking about patterns of abusive behavior.)
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