1. Today, I want to lend my voice to the question, "Should we really bid dating goodbye?" by speaking about a common occurrence that leads into intimacy without commitment, without you even knowing it.
@bollyben1
#lovestraighttalks #LetsJustBeFriends
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2. I call it, "Ok then, let's just be friends."
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3.Let me tell you a story:
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4. Once upon a time, boy meets girl. Bade asked Sade out but Sade wouldn't agree. Bade being afraid of loosing her extended a hand of friendship which she took.
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5. Now, when Bade got rejected, he moved on with his life as per the relationship but consoled himself with her friendship.
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6.Truth be told,Bade was unconsciously nursing an emotional seed each time he sees the traits he so much desired in Sade. Sade on the other hand seemingly had moved on from the idea of relationship though still friends with Bade.
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7. Here is what happened. Bade would call, and never gets tired of asking about her welfare, family, work etc. She considered him caring. This guy would buy her gifts in the name of appreciation and would say,
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8. "I'm not expecting anything in return. After all, we are just friends." She believed him. He was always there for her, supporting, encouraging and all manner of sort.
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9. Bro has successfully sown the seed of kindness, sacrifice, encouragement, care, and whatever you can think of. Then one day, Bade introduced his new found love to Sade. Hell broke loose.
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10. I know you must have heard something like this. We are quick to judge the stupidity of a lady who fell in love with a friend who she rejected at the first instance. What was she thinking? She be mumu blah blah blah.
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11. The simple truth was that they weren't sincere with themselves, they claimed to just be friends but the realities of their relationship had actually crossed the line of friendship.
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12. Sometimes the parties wouldn't even accept they've crossed the line until one of them begins to see another person and then the partner begins to get jealous.
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13. Sometimes, we act, say things that send a message of love to the other person. At times we do this unconsciously. We indirectly or directly deposit something into the other's emotional bank account;
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14. which awaken love inadvertently or prematurely. Many of us have stirred others both consciously and unconsciously.
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15. You may currently find yourself in a relationship with someone and when asked who the person is to you; you say something like 'a friend' 'she's JUST my friend' 'we are JUST friends.
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16. Just friends? Did I hear you say 'JUST FRIENDS?'. Hey! Just friends she cooks for you, has your apartment spare key. Just friends, yet you call her names; 'my love, my baby blah blah blah'.
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17. Just friends, you hug and never want to let go like a magnet? If care is not taken, soon there's going to be an emotional implosion. Someone's heart will be broken.
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18. I think the gist of today's talk is the conceptual contradictions of so called friendships that are actually founded on the culture and practices of dating which will ultimately lead to someone getting badly hurt.
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19. You may call it Self delusionary friendships. You really like him/her but deep down in your heart you know there can't be any intimate togetherness but you don't want to loose this person.
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20. So you take comfort in the company of each other to an extent that is actually outside the line of "just friends." You keep talking regularly, providing emotional support but no commitment in view.
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21. One of you is hoping that something will take shape. Soon, someone will be hurt. The foundation was wrong in the first place.
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http://22.It 's the same self delusion that makes people who have just broken up an intimate romantic relationship to reinvite each other into friendship
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23. intimate friendship and yet there is no intention to reinvent the wheel.
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