About 2 years ago @Stillsbyalan asked me to come over for coffee and a “go-see” since I had never shot for Girlsway before. I was new to the industry and he invited me to his house, but I was too naive then to realize that is a major red flag. Go-see’s are NEVER done like that.
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Anyways, we had coffee then he took me up to this “princess room” and told me to get undressed. Again, I thought this was typical go-see procedure. But then he stuck his dick inside of me, and I’ll admit I did consent to that. I mean, I never said yes but did not say no either?
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BUT THEN, he had the nerve to shove his dick all the way in my ass without permission. I tell him to please take it out, it hurts (because I had only had anal sex one time before). He said something along the lines of “I’m old enough to be your father, you do as I say”
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So, completely traumatized, I laid there crying into the pillow while he continued to force his way into my ass, harder and harder each time. Not even caring about my pain.
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Afterwards, I was so shocked and scared and confused, I’ll admit I did sit at his house for a minute, I was still trying to fathom what happened. But then when I left I realized &broke down in my car on the way home. I cried about it for months.
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Anyways, that was like two years ago. I never spoke up. I never told a soul. I just wanted to move on. But not too long ago I got this anonymous, encrypted email and I believe it completely speaks for itself, as I NEVER told anybody about what happened between us that night.pic.twitter.com/CsNkH9KLPf
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I then confronted Bree about it and she denied it all to be some crazy fan trying to ruin her business, which is ridiculous because absolutely nobody knew what happened that night except Alan and me. (Unless HE told others)
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But to see that, to read that, I know whoever sent that is telling the truth. All those details are far too true to simply be made up by some “crazy fan”.
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But to make jokes about the trauma that happened to me, ON SET WHERE OTHERS CAN HEAR, is the ultimate low. When I got that email I completely broke down and seriously considered ending my life. Especially when Bree brushed it off to be nothing.
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But yeah, I’m crying right now and am too emotional to type much more. I just think it’s time somebody spoke up, because I’ve heard that MANY other girls have had this issue with him, they’ve told me personally. But of course none speak up bc they fear getting blacklisted.
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But fuck getting blacklisted. Fuck an industry that protects rapists and nominates them to be “best director” etc..to see that makes me sick to my stomach. To see that makes me relive the pain. To see that makes me want to die.
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Seeing people like that being praised while I get PUNISHED for speaking the truth and RIDICULED for being raped, I will never understand.
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Also, if you didn’t say yes, you didn’t consent. Not saying no isn’t the same as saying yes. It took me a long time and a lot of self doubt to realize that. A silence should always be an implied no, never an implied right to someone’s body.
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Do you understand you’re about to make one of the biggest changes in the whole industry right now? And with that said. Let them suffer
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It takes a lot of courage to do what you just said. I am proud of you for being loud. This has to stop. You are beautiful inside and out and I am so sorry that it happened to you and others. You did the right thing by opening yourself like this. Thank you
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I am so sorry this happened to you Lily. NOBODY should have to go through that. NOBODY should be silenced or ridiculed for speaking out about their sexual abuse. I’m here for you and I’m sure many others are. If you need anything and want to take further action I support you.
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i am so sorry this happened to you. thank you for being brave and sharing your story. as a new girl in the industry it is very helpful to know what kinds of behaviors are ok and what is not ok from directors producers etc. stay strong ily
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Yes please be careful. There’s so many predators out there ready to take advantage of you
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