leozaur

TW: sexual assault. I’ve been raised to stay silent or “be very careful what you say to people” and that I probably cause the bad things which happen to me. I mainly talk about games and coding on my profiles. I try to be very positive but maybe I should be more honest. 1/

So many people can’t or won’t be ready to talk about it. Please don’t assume that because someone isn’t saying anything that they don’t understand or they haven’t been through it, it may just be easier for them to not think about it or they prefer to focus on helping others. 2/

Sometimes it’s easier to act like it never happened, you can feel humiliated, scared, embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, confused. You can lose friends, have people judge you or blame you and make you feel like you can’t talk about it. I have experienced ‘r’ from several people 3/

MEGA TW— Ranging from feeling too pressured to say no to being forced, to waking up to it, to being too drunk to move my body and despite multiple beggings of “stop” for the person to respond with “please let me *** inside you” to which I cry and say no. I’m saying no more. 4/

It’s scary to imagine reporting someone. It’s hard to make a case when you feel like the only one- or when the others who experienced ‘r’ from the same person don’t want to report it either. I am not ready and poss never will be to report or talk any further. 5/

A common sensation I experienced each time with different people was the desperate need to shave off my skin- I don’t know why, but I have a distinct memory of crying alone in a McDonald’s toilet cubicle with a milkshake wanting to scratch all my skin off. 7/