John Tanaka

Living in a developed nation and saying you have no backup plan is like a camel saying he isn't carrying any spare water.

My so called Smart phone is consistently calling me lazy. If it's so smart why hasn't it figured it out that I'm fine with that?

No-one should F with Blade Runner, only a Replicant would be so daring.

For some reason I feel that my clothes no longer fit - what year is this?

Only telepaths can say it's only the thought that counts.

What time is the Force getting up tomorrow? Is it setting an alarm?

I would work for myself but I prefer to work with people I like.

The force was strong with Yoda but he couldn't handle money, he lived for like 1000 years and he still didn't have enough to buy a house.

If there's one thing that I've learned from watching TV is that nobody and I mean nobody - can steal Christmas!

If you have to tell someone you're giving them the silent treatment it's not working, that's especially true if you are texting.

I just found out that me and Ted Bundy have two things in common.

I just discovered DEF LEPARD's single Hysteria is just like listening to Duran Duran or the Thompson Twins - how the F did this happen?!

Acupuncture: To ease my pain you're going to do what? No I'm good I feel great actually - never better.

Do monks worry about losing their livelihood - like oh no I found capitalism what now?

It upsets me when fictional characters never learn - what's wrong with that Wile E Coyote.

I'm so rich I brush my tooth with maple syrup.

Can a Nihilist run a business?

Who was the self obsessed narcissistic egomaniac that named their company UBER?

Could someone please come up with something for the "faint of heart".