Sarah Palin was the gateway idiot that led to Donald Trump. She lowered the bar flush to the ground, and he oozed right under it. —Andy Borowitz
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The Republicans have gone from Abraham Lincoln to Sarah Palin to Donald Trump. No wonder they don’t believe in evolution. —Andy Borowitz
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Stopping Trump is a short-term solution. The long-term solution—and it will be more difficult—is fixing the educational system that has created so many people ignorant enough to vote for Trump. —Andy Borowitz
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Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental healthcare was as easy to get as, say, a gun. —Andy Borowitz
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Devolution is more like it.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one. —Andy Borowitz
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When Trump says, "There has never been a movement like this," he is omitting Germany in the 1930s. —Andy Borowitz
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Donald Trump has successfully changed the conversation from his history as a sexual predator to his plans to imprison political opponents like a totalitarian dictator. —Andy Borowitz
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When Tea Partyers say, “I want my country back,” ask if they can identify it on a map. —Andy Borowitz
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The question of whether or not Trump should be trusted with the nuclear codes misses the point. I would not trust him with my Netflix password. —Andy Borowitz
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