Lauren Bans

@LaurenBans

TV writer on The Goldbergs

Los Angeles
gq.com/contributors/l…
Joined February 2009
178 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    30 Jan 2015

    "Funny or Die" is basically just the evolutionary strategy of the Jewish people.

    29 retweets 125 likes
  2. 20 hours ago

    "Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"-- Matthew McConaughey

    5 retweets 24 likes
  3. Aug 24

    Why is it so hard to find a man who is smart and kind and who can give birth to a child instead of me.

    1 retweet 20 likes
  4. Aug 19

    HOW COME ARIEL KNOWS THE WORD "REPRIMAND" BUT NOT "STREET"? WAKE UP SHEEPLES FISHGIRL IS HIDIN SOMETHING

    6 retweets 42 likes
  5. Aug 19

    Just walked into a cactus while texting if you're interested in what living in Los Angeles is like.

    18 likes
  6. Aug 18

    Lochte him up

    1 retweet 12 likes
  7. Aug 13

    Why would anyone choose go big when go home is a viable option

    141 retweets 290 likes
  8. Aug 11

    Pet peeve: when I don't forward a chain email and I die six days later.

    2 retweets 14 likes
  9. Aug 6

    I'll never forget where I was the moment it dawned on me "Transparent" was a pun.

    2 retweets 31 likes
  10. Aug 5

    No spoiler alerts! I'm only halfway through season Sochi

    5 retweets 21 likes
  11. Aug 2

    TRUMP: I hate babies. MEDIA: Trump hates babies. TRUMP: The dishonest media is what's ruining America.

    5 retweets 21 likes
  12. Aug 1

    THIS MALE SPLASH REMAKE IS RUINING MY CHILDHOOD j/k j/k

    Channing Tatum and Jillian Bell to star in remake for Disney
    1 retweet 9 likes
  13. Jul 31

    Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for life, teach a man to Phish and he'll be your shrooms dealer.

    1 retweet 17 likes
  14. Jul 29

    Little girls now you know that you too can grow up to be the most important woman in the world who still gets interrupted by yell-y bros !

    6 retweets 26 likes
  15. Jul 28

    No one ever talks about how good E.T. would be at fingerbanging.

    2 retweets 21 likes
  16. Jul 26

    Can't wait to hear all about the free blowouts they offered at Dachau on the next O'Reilly Factor

    10 likes
  17. Jul 26

    This is not upsetting at all.

    1 retweet 5 likes
  18. Jul 25

    That speech was so good I hope Melania plagiarizes it so I can hear it again.

    26 retweets 85 likes
  19. Jul 25

    Bernie Sanders' fans: you're not booing hard enough. If you boo louder Bernie Sanders will become President

    34 retweets 60 likes
  20. Jul 25

    Nothing makes me feel sexier than when I call to dispute a credit card charge and a man reads aloud my last 35 transactions at Chipotle

    6 retweets 24 likes
  21. Lauren Bans followed , , and 11 others

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