Christian L

Deleted about 8000 junk emails from my personal accounts. Whelp that's enough productivity for a Friday.

If camo shorts ever go out of style I'm fucked.

Grandparent guide on when to feed the baby: if he blinks, if he breathes, if he's quiet, if he's noisey, if he's sleeping, etc.

Work: "install this program that you can't launch anyway OR YOU HAVE TO REBUILD THE SERVER." AreYouFuckingKiddingMe.jpg

Hanging out with dad and he's asking me about March Madness. Its March? Basketball? Only stat I care about it sleep

If he's gassy he'll usually have an ear piercing wail. Shrill enough I need to break out the ear plugs if more than 5 minutes

Every now and then he'll sound like a velociraptor

When he wakes up he sounds like a car engine trying to start

The baby books never told me about the various noises to expect from baby Lazer

So the project I've been working on since August has now been wiped and have half the time to complete moving forward. Good. Great.

Is there a shitty sold on tv only product Brett Favre won't endorse?

But apparently Sunday is non stop "How it's Made" episodes. Integrated industrial machinery hnnnghhhhh

Left the mini-me at the grandparents so wife and I could go out. Result? We're both more exhausted than normal

"The dozen likes on FB must mean that thousands of others agree with me so I MUST POST MORE"

"They should pass this law because it marginally helps my family while fucking over milions of others"

"Im only an amateur in [topic here] but one time I did [slightly related thing to the topic] and it worked so I'm a Nobel winner"

Where I've suddenly got a PhD in: sports, gun control, world politics, local politics but in the other side of the country, etc

Where I can blindly post about parental topics as the end-all-be-all

I've been a dad for about a month now. When does my parental social media god mode kick in?