Ooouu girl you should read this. I don't love Chrissy Teigen much, I just clicked this article randomly one day and ended up reading the whole thing. It REALLY helps you understand the feelings you're having. Doesn't even apply to me bc I don't have kids!https://www.glamour.com/story/chrissy-teigen-postpartum-depression …
BUT it did feel like it applied to me in the way that I felt depressed, then I felt guilty about it because "why should I be depressed??" I have a great life and have all these blessings and yada yada. Depression doesn't choose you based on your life circumstances though.