So I've been doing this thing lately where I've been writing letters to people in my past, and not sending them. People who meant a lot to me, for one reason or another, and talking about my feelings towards them. I want to share one experience that mattered a lot.
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But as the summer months rolled around, he started talking to me less and less. He was busy with school, he had said. I understood, but it was hard. One day he stopped responding at all. He hadn't broken it off. I kept trying to talk with him, but there was no answer.
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Eventually I just asked if he wanted to end it, because of how he had been ghosting me (though I didn't know the name of it at the time). He said yes. That was it, and I was kind of distraught. I had lost my boyfriend and my socialization outlet all at once. And I was confused.
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I was depressed for a month and ended up playing Chrono Trigger, because it was one of his favorite games. Obsessive, I know. I had no idea why he called it off. Later, I found out that there was another boy, who went to the same school he did. Basically I got replaced lol
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Years later, he contacted me and told me he was sorry and felt really guilty for what happened. I understood, of course. It wasn't his responsibility to provide an outlet for me to communicate with the world beyond my house. He was just a kid too, and I was putting a lot on him.
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I know this sort of stuff isn't why you read my feed, but I just wanted to share. He meant a lot to me. He still does, actually, for giving me a daily escape for the half year or so that he did. It meant a lot, in ways I doubt anyone but myself can really appreciate.
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Enough with story time. Writing these letters has been really cathartic, and I've only done three. I will probably do four or five more, at least. I always thought writing letters you don't send sounded like a dumb exercise, but I recommend trying it. It's cathartic.
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End of conversation
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