My least favorite evolutionary just-so-story is that menstrual cramps is nature/your body’s way of punishing you for not getting pregnant.
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My favorite hypothesis is menstruation expels pathogens that may have been transmitted by sperm (although the hypothesis hasn’t been well developed). The pain (not all women experience it) is just a byproduct of the necessary smooth muscle contractions https://www.jstor.org/stable/2831191?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents …
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Only a crazy person like you could find that to be her favorite hypothesis! :p
