kim  

@KimmyMonte

look at my tweets here ok bye

New York, USA
Instagram.com/Kimmymonte
Joined March 2010
1,536 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    20 Sep 2016

    My 9 yo son just made this movie trailer and I literally cannot stop laughing.

    116 replies 1,841 retweets 4,886 likes
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  2. 11 minutes ago

    {extremely Papa Roach voice} 🎶come over bring him pizza, this is my one-eyed pug🎶

    2 replies 2 retweets 19 likes
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  3. 54 minutes ago

    wanna feel old? kurt cobain died 24 years ago today. that’s it. there’s no joke. i just want everyone to feel old ok have a great night

    5 replies 7 retweets 55 likes
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  4. 2 hours ago

    Can I see Ready Player One if I haven’t seen Ready Player Zero?

    1 reply 31 likes
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  5. 2 hours ago

    aw, poor thing just misses it’s Mark :(

    1 reply 2 retweets 13 likes
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  6. 2 hours ago

    yes this is nibs. he hated this job.

    1 retweet 5 likes
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  7. 2 hours ago

    yes hi. are you happy with your current cable provider?

    3 replies 10 retweets 75 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    20 Nov 2017

    *pushes friendship bracelet through glory hole*

    13 replies 572 retweets 1,779 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    5 hours ago

    Sick of my turtles kicking the shit out of me and eating all of my pizza

    2 replies 38 retweets 181 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    22 Jun 2016

    If you think Han Solo is cool you should see his brother Guitar.

    32 replies 1,228 retweets 2,326 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    1 Nov 2017

    “Mark! My words!” I yell at Mark, my word butler, who finishes all my sentences bc i have, uhhh… Mark: “Aphasia, ma’am. You have aphasia.”

    43 replies 1,907 retweets 5,430 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Jan 15

    [buying a dog] hi yes i want to be absolutely devastated in like 11 years or so

    194 replies 3,864 retweets 16,777 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Mar 21

    [hears someone crying] ah yes, the song of my people

    9 replies 349 retweets 857 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    25 Nov 2016

    "No, I wasn't raised by wolves. But why?" I ask, blushing. "Do I seem like I might have been?"

    11 replies 362 retweets 1,151 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    4 hours ago

    Actual interaction that just happened at Walgreens: Me: [Picking up my new antidepressants] Pharmacist: It's not covered by insurance, so the cost is $850. Me: That's ok, I'll just be sad.

    13 replies 46 retweets 269 likes
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  16. 5 hours ago

    i just said to my 11 yo son, “i don’t want you on your ipad all day” and he replied, “yeh well i don’t want you on your mother all day” and tbh i’ve never felt so owned and proud at the same time.

    7 retweets 56 likes
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  17. 6 hours ago

    my pug keeps farting in my direction. i think he’s trying to tell me my son is stuck in a well.

    2 replies 6 retweets 64 likes
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  18. 23 hours ago

    things you should never be: •the main reason someone decides to go to therapy •a piece of shit •someone that doesn’t like dogs •someone who likes bananas as a pizza topping •the guy at work everyone refers to as “that guy from work”

    5 replies 32 retweets 247 likes
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  19. 23 hours ago

    batman is just goth am

    2 replies 6 retweets 34 likes
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  20. 24 hours ago

    the elusive pug, in his natural habitat. if you listen closely, you can hear his mating call. such a spectacular creature. so majestic

    5 replies 5 retweets 57 likes
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  21. Apr 4

    someone just robbed me with finger guns and stole my air guitar.

    6 replies 43 retweets 222 likes
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