Kevin Simler

for me, socializing relies on conscious OODA loops the loops are pretty fast these days but I manage them intentionally. letting my brain just do its own thing doesn't work very well I have heard that other people can socialize intuitively and I am jealous of their arcane power

This is a really interesting description and intuition pump.

it's very difficult to talk about because we don't have a succinct way to differentiate "social muscle memory" (what I have developed) from "social intuition" it's not even clear that these are different things at core — maybe it's a continuum

My guess is that they're not all that different, though age perhaps plays a role. People who developed social muscle memory for certain types of thing at a younger age may appear & feel more natural later. Ofc, practicing something for years usually makes it seem more natural!