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  1. Pinned Tweet

    This week, a viewer wrote in about how concerned he was to pursue his political ambitions because of some skeletons in his closet — so I demonstrated exactly how to spin absolutely anything in your favor:

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  2. Excuse me what?! Why are there so many random rules? I don’t know who invented football; I do know that they were on LSD.

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  3. Football is like a story problem on a math test with helmets and tights!

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  4. At the beginning of the year, I thought that touchdowns were 7 points. Then I learned they are 6, and you can kick for another one and get 1 point. Now I am hearing that you can also do a thing called “run for two?” This is so confusing. Who learns all of this? Why?

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  5. “First down.” “Third down and 12.” “Run for 2.” “Pick six.” I mean damn. People like to say football players are stupid, but it sounds like they have to do a lot of math stuff just to understand the game they are supposed to play. Respect.

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  6. Okay so what does “run it in for two” mean?! What the hell is this I feel like I’m in school except with beer

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  7. I’m trying! He won’t explain to me when they get to do the kicks. I knew you got to kick it after the touchdowns but when else do you do them? How do you know when!? When do people have time to learn this?

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  8. Honestly, the Super Bowl just might be my favorite day of the year. Not because I like football, but because I can’t stand it. After today, I’m free from it for awhile. I imagine this is how it feels to be on the last day of a fad diet/stint in a maximum security prison.

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  10. Retweeted
    Feb 1

    So hilarious - here are and as cheerleaders as seen on the show

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  14. Feb 1

    Came all the way to Miami to take selfies in my messy hotel room 🥰 @ Miami Beach-North Beach

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  15. Retweeted

    This week on the , is joined by special guests, host & Senior Producer ! The trio discusses what their hypothetical cult would be like & much more. Listen & subscribe here:

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  16. Jan 31

    I love partying! It’s so great. Because honestly, there’s nothing quite like it (to make you appreciate the nights you get to spend in bed watching Forensic Files and eating spaghetti)

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  17. Retweeted
    Jan 31

    Bummed I couldn't in Florida, not only for the heat but bc were hilarious on the latest episode of . Also, send get well wishes to so he can feel better before Super Bowl Sunday! Listen here:

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  18. Retweeted

    NEW with & . This week, & join the fun live from . Listen now on or click the link below! Don't forget to rate & review.

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  19. Retweeted

    TOMORROW NIGHT! welcomes back , , and . 10/9c on . Don't miss it!

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  20. Jan 30

    Somewhere out there is an Instagram model traveling to China, just hoping to get coronavirus for attention

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  21. Jan 30

    Is it weird to not care about getting coronavirus? Like — who cares about being dead? You can’t; you’d be too dead.

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