Kaiju

@Kaiju_tron

Right behind you
Joined June 2016
231 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Mar 27

    Today at work:

  2. 8 hours ago

    Adulting so hard today, I mulched the front yard. Thanks for the excellent supervision.

  3. Jun 24

    Turns out Eggsy can be a purse dog. He was scared at Ace Hardware, but was happy when I stuck him in my bag.

    1 like
  4. Retweeted
    Jun 23

    Seriously, never tell me my villains are too obvious or cartoonish or unbelievable for their lack of subtlety.

    Me, a wise writer: "Must make my villains sympathetic." Actual villain: *drags people from wheelchairs while legislating their bankruptcy*
    11 replies 240 retweets 431 likes
  5. Jun 21

    One of my employees made a joke about being lonely. I drew them a dinosaur to keep them company.

    2 likes
  6. Retweeted
    Jun 20

    My other favorite thing on the internet today.

    "Farm boy, polish my armor. I want to see my face shining in it by morning."
    3 replies 96 retweets 217 likes
  7. Jun 20

    My dad: Good morning! It's going to be a beautiful day! Me: Humans are a cancer on the face of the Earth. Guess who's a morning person!

    1 like
  8. Retweeted
    Jun 16
    Replying to

    katamari is the only actual RPG (roll playing game), square enix and co are frauds

    8 replies 290 retweets 525 likes
  9. Jun 17

    Throat: ...but the orange juice huuuurts Me: I WILL DRINK THIS MIMOSA EVEN IF IT KILLS ME

  10. Jun 17

    Sore throats are like paper cuts - they will find the acidity or spiciness in things for you, weather you wanted to know about it or not.

    1 like
  11. Jun 16

    Stay tuned for more Adventures of Sickily. Today's episodes are "Sandpaper Throat", "How Much Tea Can One Person Consume" and "O god Why"

  12. Jun 15
    Replying to

    Me: well I do have both socks on now, so I have that going for me.

  13. Jun 15

    T: how are you feeling today? Me: I had a 100° fever last night, an audit today, and it took me 5min to put on my second sock T: ..so, good?

    1 reply
  14. Retweeted
    Jun 14

    Straight-up truth in this thread.

    Replying to @sarahwhelmed
    It was okay when it was just a lady Democrat getting shot in the head. It was okay when it was just twenty six year olds in a school.
    10 replies 498 retweets 687 likes
  15. Jun 14
    Replying to

    It's only delaying my healing time, and increasing the likelihood of everyone else getting sick too.

  16. Jun 14

    Why are people so impressed when you come to work sick? They should be horrified, and demand to drive you home and get you soup.

    1 reply
  17. Jun 11

    Just got it! Excited to read a new book by

    1 reply 1 like
  18. Jun 8

    I can hear the crinkling of the recycling thieves. Be afraid, for they fear nothing save the harsh light of day. And not really even that.

  19. Jun 6

    Ran half again as far as usual - progress!!

  20. Jun 5

    My food coma yesterday was so powerful it killed my dog.

    1 reply
  21. Jun 3

    At the movies. The person next to us went to the farmer's market and bought a tomato plant. The tomato will be seeing Wonder Woman with us.

    1 like

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