Kaci Aitchison  🎤Verifierat konto

Was trying to drink wine and watch a show when the tv woke up the toddler. But she was so damn cute when I went to calm her down and now I’m looking at pics of her instead sobbing that she’s growing too fast WTF is wrong with me

The sun is shining and I am really feeling hopeful that I might be able to stand 6 feet away from friends outside and sip a beer "together" soon.

Hey @SirActionSlacks can you please change your name? This virtual working stuff has me using Slack all the time, and it's messing with my brain. Unless you also have channels with frustrating settings that annoy me with pings all day- wait a minute.

(3 of 3) I drove off, rolling my eyes. But wouldn't you know it, the first thing the parent ahead of me in line asked? "Whoah! Donatello, right?" And I was able to nod the affirmative with confidence. A truly dramatic tale. #turtlepower

(2 of 3) ...my husband frantically opened the door to yell "WAIT! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH TURTLE THAT IS? YOU HAVE TO KNOW IN CASE ANYONE ASKS!" I shrugged. "Leonardo?" He panicked, picturing me embarrassing the family. "DONATELLO! IT'S DONATELLO!"

How to avoid embarrassing your husband: (1 of 3): It's crazy sock day at daycare, and I ordered Ninja Turtle socks that turned out to be adult sized. So I thought, fu&K it, I'LL wear them to drop off. I was just strutting out to the car to stuff both kids in, when...

I just realized what interacting with my toddler reminds me of: Dating. The only way to get her to eat? Tell her not to eat it. The only way to get her to play or watch something specific? Act as if you don't care either way. I sucked at this game in my 20s and I suck at it now.

Bedtime w/ my toddler ACTUALLY SAYING THIS TO ME: “You’re too old to argue. Adults shouldn’t argue. Please stop arguing with Scarlett.” I was about to retort adults argue lots before realizing it’d prove her point and now I’m screwed. (PS what’s with the 3rd person talk?!)

My toddler just asked me to explain what “shy” means and I could not for the life of me figure out how to describe it without sounding negative (because it’s not)!

You would think the sign "cash only" taped to the door when you have no cash would be enough of an obstacle. You might think a $4 transaction fee at the closest ATM might seal your fate. But you don't know these almond croissants, man. #worthit @bakerynouveau #westseattle

I sure hope Biscuit slept on the finest sheets and got breakfast in bed for the amount of money I just paid to pick him up from a couple nights at the vet.

How can someone teach themselves to roll over in both directions, but then forget how to roll back to their back, therefore waking themselves up at 5am in tears? (This is a question about my baby, not me. I'm in tears for many OTHER reasons, thankyouverymuch.)

Me: Get off bike, feel great. App: "You gave it your all in 30 minute pop ride..." Me: Anything that sounds like "you tried your best" feels like a "but" is coming... App: "...Make it a total body workout by adding a 10 min strength class." Me: There it is. @onepeloton

Typing “Surprise, bitches!” in a work chat on Slack isn’t grounds for discipline right?

Me to my husband this morning: “We can do this. It’s been a tough few hours but we got this!” Husband: “It’s 7:12.” Me: “Well shit.”

Currently watching #Frozen2 for the 23rd time and I might just now be starting to understand the plot

I often wonder if more people would remember to reply to my outlook meeting invites if under “location” I put something dumb like YOUR MOM’S HOUSE instead of the decidedly boring “Zoom.”