My family keep making me hike up mountains (big hills FEEL like mountains) in the Lakes. This is supposed to be a holiday. Why is this necessary when there’s chilled wine (and Easter eggs) waiting back at our hotel? Just thought I’d mention this in the hope one of them reads it.
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That's a potential fly in the ointment, but if you ply them with drinks they'll be too full of bonhomie & self-satisfaction to notice which leg you're limping on. Trust me - it's brought a mercifully premature end to all sorts of tiring and pointless group walks all over Dorset.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Small stone in one shoe. Job done.
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But your friends may say you could just remove the small stone from the shoe? It needs to produce a small but visible puncture wound on the sole of the foot. I use a tiny vial of cochineal dye secreted in an anorak pocket, applied by sleight of hand, to simulate this effect,
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Good God no, you don't let the friends know about the stone. It's just hidden there to keep the limping consistent, even whilst under the influence of wine.
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I see, as a personal reminder! Good thinking. On one occasion when dragged halfway up Golden Cap on the Dorset coast in sandals I had to find a noisome cowflop to 'accidentally' tread in, then sadly retreat to the campsite showers with squelching foot. Your solution is better.
End of conversation
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