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That’s a really crappy story to make up.
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And to tweet.
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Omg Elvis has signed the revoke form online ! I love Elvis obviously he really isn’t dead ! Just looking for concert tickets !
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Flexit means Flexit!
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Plastic, no doubt. Otherwise he would have bent it like Beckham.
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I never knew you worked in Mothercare?
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Are you reminiscing because that’s the last bit of excitement you had in your life?
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Well he was best mates with Michael Jackson.
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I thought he'd died. I'd heard he'd rubbed his neck, and his head fell off
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Since when have you ever been honest?!
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The guy's a fraud! He has based his entire career on people believing his shit! Friend of Michael Jackson??? That says a lot!
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Last time I met him, he was holding Michael Jackson’s hand at the Oxford Union...
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Well as tedious stories go that's up there with the worst. You are aware that the shite you vomit onto twitter can be read by grown-ups aren't you? I pity your carer.
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Holding a toddler’s what?
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Im racking my brain for a suitable Cockney rhyming slang saying but I’m beat . A toddler’s spoon must be a thing

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