Not quite sure how I got roped into this but I am currently in Oxford Street supervising (ie. walking behind and only speaking when spoken to) six 12-year-old girls on a day off school shopping for outfits for a school disco. Six of ‘em. Oh, and I hate shopping. #whatwentwrong
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You see, this is my problem with shopping. Look at all these stools and benches. I’ve been standing in this shop for what feels like a week now and I’m not allowed to sit on any of them. Grrrrr.pic.twitter.com/3NIx1hIyGv
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I think all six girls are now trying on the *same* top. A tenner says none of them buy it.
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Just been told off by the shop security guard for sitting on the stairs. He seems very cross. I think I might get arrested for loitering soon.
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I think even the 12 year olds are flagging by now. I’m going to start a campaign for shops to be legally required to have chairs. The fightback starts now.
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Four hours in and there have been purchases. Five girls have outfits. One left. FOUR HOURS, people.
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Well, this is going to come as a HUGE a surprise to everyone but we’re now back in the second store we went to. You know, the one with no sodding chairs. Not sure the security man is too pleased to see me.
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Right, we’ve made it to Top Shop and it feels like we’re on the final furlong. The last girl without an outfit is looking confident. And they have comfy seats near the changing rooms so... YAY!
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People, I have news. The last girl of the six 12 year olds has a new top for the school disco. Phew. There is talk of heading home soon. I fear it is only talk. I don’t want to get my hopes up.
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Okay, so now we’re getting drinks at a cafe in Top Shop. As they don’t offer pints of vodka, I’m holding off til I get home. I remember home. It was a nice place I once used to spend time in with sofas and TVs... and vodka.
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We. Are. Now. Back. In. The. First. Shop. We. Started. In. At. Half. Past. Sodding. Ten. This. Morning. Aaaaaarrrrrgggh.
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We’re going home! We’re going home!!!!!!!!!
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The shopping trip is officially over. Six girls. Six hours. And the only thing I bought for myself all day...?pic.twitter.com/AlzETG28yb
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I talked to some girls from Nottingham at St Pancras the other day who had come to Town to go shopping but they’d spent all their money in the station and had to go home.
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Do the same as I did with my kids, pick a favourite one with greatest earning capacity and keep that one close. It’s been a few years I suppose I really should start looking for my son, or get his face on a milk bottle, whatever the thing to do is nowadays
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These 12 year olds on flexible time?
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Important thing is you still need to have six at the end, doesn't matter which ones. If you lose one grab another.
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