My view right now. I’m hiding.pic.twitter.com/MJ0NQqNXh9
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It’s like herding cats with pocket money they are desperate to spend
Okay, so here’s another thing. There are other 12 year old girls also shopping today. I can’t tell which ones are my responsibility to stop from getting abducted and which ones I can ignore.
You see, this is my problem with shopping. Look at all these stools and benches. I’ve been standing in this shop for what feels like a week now and I’m not allowed to sit on any of them. Grrrrr.pic.twitter.com/3NIx1hIyGv
I think all six girls are now trying on the *same* top. A tenner says none of them buy it.
Just been told off by the shop security guard for sitting on the stairs. He seems very cross. I think I might get arrested for loitering soon.
I think even the 12 year olds are flagging by now. I’m going to start a campaign for shops to be legally required to have chairs. The fightback starts now.
Four hours in and there have been purchases. Five girls have outfits. One left. FOUR HOURS, people.
Well, this is going to come as a HUGE a surprise to everyone but we’re now back in the second store we went to. You know, the one with no sodding chairs. Not sure the security man is too pleased to see me.
Right, we’ve made it to Top Shop and it feels like we’re on the final furlong. The last girl without an outfit is looking confident. And they have comfy seats near the changing rooms so... YAY!
People, I have news. The last girl of the six 12 year olds has a new top for the school disco. Phew. There is talk of heading home soon. I fear it is only talk. I don’t want to get my hopes up.
Okay, so now we’re getting drinks at a cafe in Top Shop. As they don’t offer pints of vodka, I’m holding off til I get home. I remember home. It was a nice place I once used to spend time in with sofas and TVs... and vodka.
We. Are. Now. Back. In. The. First. Shop. We. Started. In. At. Half. Past. Sodding. Ten. This. Morning. Aaaaaarrrrrgggh.
We’re going home! We’re going home!!!!!!!!!
The shopping trip is officially over. Six girls. Six hours. And the only thing I bought for myself all day...?pic.twitter.com/AlzETG28yb
"Not sure what went wrong but there's a grumpy lady following us around Oxford Street occasionally looking at her phone and swearing about Brexit."
Ha ha my daughter thinks it’s so cringe I still shop @topshop I’m 36!
She is 12 ! 
My guess is she probably thinks it’s cringe that you use phrases like “cringe”. You can’t win.
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