Does he wash cars?
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You thinking too big for chimneys ?
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Can't get my car up a chimney.
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If you can still tweet you haven’t drunk to much fact
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Mate, I’m a journalist. I can write 2,000 words of perfect prose smashed out of my skull.
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That explains alot.
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I’m just waiting for the hoards of Muslims to take you up on that offer

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You haven't lived till you've stood in the queue at Sainsbury's local and your small child has yelled out IS IT WINE O'CLOCK YET
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OH Lordy Help us to be the people our kids think we should be. Amen
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Boarding school looks increasingly attractive once kids reach double figures
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Tell ‘em they only exist because of alcohol
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School teachers have much to answer for.
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I do hope this is a joke, when children say these things it’s not funny it’s really sad
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I’ve got tears
as an Englishman - 1 more reply
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You can’t deliver you’ve had a drink

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Post office shut too.
End of conversation
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