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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Apr 10

    For reference, there was a kid in my middle school who carried around an open can of paint he found in an alley and he was cooler than me

  2. Retweeted
    Jun 6
  3. Jun 7

    No surprise the lying MSM has been totally silent on this

  4. May 28

    2017 Matrix reboot: Neo discovers the world is a lie fabricated by robots and he's like 'thank god this is better'

  5. Retweeted
    May 28
  6. May 27

    Lyft driver and I agree, there may be something to this Russia stuff

  7. Retweeted
    May 23
    Replying to

    you: holding grudges is unhealthy me:

  8. Retweeted
    May 13

    this is so adorable. I wish it could always be like this

  9. Apr 19

    the bad man off the tv

  10. Retweeted
    Apr 14

    The loss of GIRLS thinkpieces to online content factories is gonna be our gen's version of the death of the American coal mining industry

  11. Apr 14

    "I have to go to Eva's late night Seder. By the way, you're not invited. She hates you." - Barnes and noble teen, the grove

  12. Apr 11

    Wow care to comment on this amazon review, ?

  13. Retweeted
    Apr 2

    Hey NYers. Can you please spread the word? I've lost my dog. It's been a terrible 24 hours of looking for her. Help if you can.

  14. Mar 31

    lol still forgetting to write LA on things

  15. Mar 31

    Boss Baby is the new Get Out

  16. Mar 27

    A satellite dish just landed on my car and I still don't miss the G train

  17. Mar 26
  18. Mar 24

    white people have successfully ruined the word woke

  19. Mar 18

    How did we even digest news before we had Everyone's Comedic Take On Twitter?

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